Time spent with a dog is never time
wasted.
Dogs make great therapists. So does the
gym.
Music is not an accessory. Music is a
necessity.
Not that I have many regrets, but one
of them is that I never learned to play an instrument. I'm jealous of
anyone who can play anything. Whenever I see someone who can play
two, I really want to break their damn fingers.
It doesn't bother you when your
favorite groups break up because you know there will be a reunion
tour a few years later.
Grey hair grows faster, stronger and
longer than any other hair on the human body.
Even the models in the magazine don’t
look like the models in the magazine.
Sunscreen. Every day.
Lifestyle changes > diets
Girls look hotter in boots. I don’t
know the scientific theory behind it, but they just do.
 | |
| Boots can even make up for a hideous dress! |
Do something physical a few
times a week. You don’t have to bench press 500 lbs, but a run,
yoga class, sports. Do something. Stretching won't kill you, either.
12 is the Universal Number. Whenever
you’re asked a question with a numerical answer and you don’t
know it, just say 12 (or 120, or 1.2, etc.) You will be closer than
you think.
Your body starts to gown downhill
around 35, so cram as much in before that.
That awkward stage when you are older
than all the players on your favorite sports team.
Calories definitely still count on your
birthday; but they are magically more delicious.
You have to believe in yourself first
before anyone else will.
People have seem to forgotten that they
can still use their smart phone to actually talk to people.
Never turn down the opportunity to take
a good nap. Conference calls, in particular, are a good time.
 |
| "This corporate speak is killing me." |
Speaking your mind is a great way to
earn respect of coworkers, but a shitty way of trying to get ahead.
 | |
| I've been feeling ya, Punk |
Like things tend to attract like
things. For example, drama attracts drama. Stupidity attracts
stupidity. But creativity attracts creativity. Fun attracts fun.
Always be prepared because you never
know when the opportunity will happen to be in the next great story.
Bill Murray has a great quote “I try to be available for life to
happen to me."
I’m pretty sure if dragons existed,
they wouldn’t ask to get tattoos of people.
Read. Preferably my stuff, but read
nonetheless.
Hang out with people younger than you.
They will keep you young. Also, this will be easier to do as you get
older.
Hammock is necessary furniture.
The ocean heals.
If I’m somewhere with no phone
reception, a serial killer will be nearby.
Take lots of pictures. Just don't post every freaking one of them.
Some people really do change; others
don't. That's their gig. Just worry about being yourself.
Never feel guilty for sleeping in.
Hallowmas is a kickass holiday more
people need to celebrate.
Put as much as you can in your 401k as
early as you can. The 70 year old you will thank the 25 year old you.
Always say “thank you” and
acknowledge when someone has done you a solid. Positive reinforcement
is not being used enough these days.
The theme to Rocky will push you
more than any other song known to man.
 | |
| FUCK YEAH! Now where's some beef I can beat up? |
Unplugging every once in a while will
do you a world of good.
Whenever possible, tip in cash so your
waiter/waitress/bartender won't have to pay taxes on it.
Who you are with is far more important
than where you are.
If there's one place you need to be,
someone will be in your way.
It's OK to say no.
I always try to do at least one nice
thing as early in the day as possible. The rest of the day I'm free
to be a dickhead.
Having a sense of humor is a great way
to insult people to their face and laugh about it.
If I had a motto for life, it would be
“The relentless pursuit of a good time.”
