43 Observations About Getting Older

As I blow out another obscene amount of candles on the cake, I have had time to reflect on this funny thing called life. I have complied 43 random thoughts, observations, advice and practices. Think of it as my way of giving back to you. Which is pretty hellacool of me considering you guys didn't get me a damn thing. In no particular order:

Time spent with a dog is never time wasted.

Dogs make great therapists. So does the gym.

Music is not an accessory. Music is a necessity.

Not that I have many regrets, but one of them is that I never learned to play an instrument. I'm jealous of anyone who can play anything. Whenever I see someone who can play two, I really want to break their damn fingers.

It doesn't bother you when your favorite groups break up because you know there will be a reunion tour a few years later.

Grey hair grows faster, stronger and longer than any other hair on the human body.

Even the models in the magazine don’t look like the models in the magazine.

Sunscreen. Every day.

Lifestyle changes > diets

  

Girls look hotter in boots. I don’t know the scientific theory behind it, but they just do.

Boots can even make up for a hideous dress!

Do something physical a few times a week. You don’t have to bench press 500 lbs, but a run, yoga class, sports. Do something. Stretching won't kill you, either.

12 is the Universal Number. Whenever you’re asked a question with a numerical answer and you don’t know it, just say 12 (or 120, or 1.2, etc.) You will be closer than you think.

Your body starts to gown downhill around 35, so cram as much in before that.

That awkward stage when you are older than all the players on your favorite sports team.

Calories definitely still count on your birthday; but they are magically more delicious.

You have to believe in yourself first before anyone else will.

People have seem to forgotten that they can still use their smart phone to actually talk to people.

Never turn down the opportunity to take a good nap. Conference calls, in particular, are a good time.

"This corporate speak is killing me."

Speaking your mind is a great way to earn respect of coworkers, but a shitty way of trying to get ahead.

I've been feeling ya, Punk

Like things tend to attract like things. For example, drama attracts drama. Stupidity attracts stupidity. But creativity attracts creativity. Fun attracts fun.

Always be prepared because you never know when the opportunity will happen to be in the next great story. Bill Murray has a great quote “I try to be available for life to happen to me."

I’m pretty sure if dragons existed, they wouldn’t ask to get tattoos of people.

Read. Preferably my stuff, but read nonetheless.

Hang out with people younger than you. They will keep you young. Also, this will be easier to do as you get older.

Hammock is necessary furniture.

The ocean heals.

If I’m somewhere with no phone reception, a serial killer will be nearby.

Question any statistic.

Take lots of pictures. Just don't post every freaking one of them.

Some people really do change; others don't. That's their gig. Just worry about being yourself.

Never feel guilty for sleeping in.

Hallowmas is a kickass holiday more people need to celebrate.

Put as much as you can in your 401k as early as you can. The 70 year old you will thank the 25 year old you.

Always say “thank you” and acknowledge when someone has done you a solid. Positive reinforcement is not being used enough these days.

The theme to Rocky will push you more than any other song known to man.

FUCK YEAH! Now where's some beef I can beat up?

Unplugging every once in a while will do you a world of good.

Whenever possible, tip in cash so your waiter/waitress/bartender won't have to pay taxes on it.

Who you are with is far more important than where you are.

If there's one place you need to be, someone will be in your way.

It's OK to say no.

I always try to do at least one nice thing as early in the day as possible. The rest of the day I'm free to be a dickhead.

Having a sense of humor is a great way to insult people to their face and laugh about it.

If I had a motto for life, it would be “The relentless pursuit of a good time.”