This Shit Again

It's funny how life goes in circles. Just about 5 years ago, I found a pretty decent job, that gave me some great stories, a good deal of frustration and hopefully a few key friendships to carry on. Before the above gig, I was (basically) unemployed for three years. Three long, dark, frustrating, disappointing, challenging years that I have since tried to forget. Well, it looks like another tough little stretch lies ahead of me.

One can never look forward to being unemployed. While I didn't “love” my last job, it was certainly something that I got to be (very) good at and make a reputation for myself. I worked at it to at least make it comfortable for me, and suffered all the bullshit that kept it being a good job as opposed to being a great job. And while this post isn't going to delve to much into that aspect of it, don't worry there will be plenty more on that topic.

During those unemployed years, I really fell back into writing. I got two pieces printed, and landed a great gig where I wrote my best stuff. (Excepting here, of course.) And, like the black cloud I apparently am, that gig abruptly ended. I mean, there's not even any webdirt or record of it existing? How does that happen? But try as I might, there's plenty pictures of me in various compromising positions floating around. Fucking internet.

So, now that I have ample “free” time, I find the urge coming back, much like Dexter's Dark Passenger. (Yes, I know Dexter references are dated in 2015, but through Netflix and this “free” time, I finally watched all 8 seasons. Now, no one ruin the last season of Breaking Bad, 'aight?) I have been struggling to write anything decent for my current writing gig, and as I see many of my friends making the same realization, writing is great therapy. I don't quite understand it myself, but my darkest moods are somehow alleviated by writing fart jokes. Which is also why I'm now eating chili twice a day and sleeping on the couch.

Now, I am not the biggest believer things like fate, signs, Christianity, etc, but just as I lose my job, a previous editor puts out a call looking for stories of being unemployed. Ah, karma, you move in mysterious ways. And I found as I started to just put ideas together, the urge came back. There's potential for this project to lead somewhere cool. Even if not, it's at least served as a spark.

"Did someone say spark?"

To anyone in my position, a few things. Know you're not alone; there are other people out there just like you. And they need someone to drink with on random Wednesday afternoons. But the absolute best thing I can tell you is this: do your best to find a job that doesn't deaden your soul. It's a job to find a decent job. But while you work your network and contacts and send out blind resumes, I also highly encourage you to find that one activity you enjoy; that gives you pleasure, release, outlet (and I know it sounds like I'm talking about jacking off here, but I swear I'm not) and do it. Be it writing, music, art, volunteering, exercise, reading, whatever. Just do it so you're balanced out.

For me, it's writing funny shit. Be it dirty, edgy, self-deprecating, un-PC, raw, just not the typical stuff you read in all those lame links everyone loves to pass around.

I'll be back here, and I hope you will, too.

Bonus Material

I'm listening to The New Basement Tapes while writing this. As first go through, I like it, and it's already my favorite Dylan record because I can actually understand all the words.