Friday, December 12, 2008

Echoes of High School

High school wasn’t a great time for me. I think that period is traumatic for any kid, but I hated high school. Now that I am looking back, I don’t have many fond memories. I just had that constant feeling like I never quite fit in with anybody. I was a tall, geeky, un-confident, socially retarded loser that never got any dates.

Shit, I guess not much has changed…..

Anyway, I was your typical bus-hopper. I didn’t play any sports. I didn’t belong to any clubs. I wasn’t too high on the extra-circular stuff. I showed up, did my time and got the hell out. The ‘friends’ I did hang out with were primarily the ones I went to elementary school with. I guess I hung with a few of the ‘cool’ kids, but most of my circle were music nerds. They always tried to get me into Yes and shit. After HS was over, I really never saw them again. I’d run into one at a local bar, or the music nerds would be at a show.

So my HS career was rather unremarkable. I was a wallflower. I was unsure of myself, and was never quite comfortable in my own skin. (It wasn’t until after college that I bloomed into this version of coolness.) I don’t think I could name you 10 people I knew I went to school with. And I still get the occasional nightmarish-like dream about being in HS. The dreams are always meeting getting lost in school or not doing homework. Suffice it to say, I have changed a lot since then. My look, my attitude, my confidence (to a degree) and am a lot more sure of the skin I’m in (to a degree) now. I’ve compartmentalized that whole period of my life. It’s almost like it never happened. So it came as quite a shock when T left a message for me.

She is a teacher, and this week was parent conferences. So she meets with the parents of her kids. One mom comes in, and after the meeting, asks her if she has a brother named Kevin. She says no, but her husband’s name is Kevin. “I went to high school with him,” the mother replies. Now this totally boggles my little mind. That someone remembers me from high school 19 fucking years ago. Like I said, I wasn’t very popular. In fact, in a class of almost 400 kids, I was voted 417th most popular. Yea, I was that forgettable.

So T shows this mom a picture of me now. She tells the mom’s face was shock. “Yea, I can kinda see his face…” she says. Yea, that nerdy, acne covered face now has long hair and a perma-scruff and is like 6’2. “Wow, the mom says, “he is a fox! A stone cold hunk of prime A beef. I would give him a blow job every night just for the privilege of watching TV with him. He is devastatingly handsome.”

OK, so maybe that part is a bit embellished, but I am sure she was as least thinking that. I do find it funny that on the odd occasion I do run into people I went to HS with, they don’t recognize me now. I actually take that as a compliment. Well, either that, or I’ve gotten more hideous. Nope, no, it’s because I am far more ‘me’ now then I ever was then. Yea, that’s it. I went to HS with one of T’s teacher friends, and I don’t think the teacher friend even knows that.

Wow, that’s pretty cool, I tell T. What is this chick’s name I ask her. “Umm…..I don’t know,” she tells me. WTF! You give me a great story like that, and you don’t even get me a name? So now I have to wonder who this girl that remembers me is. Again, I find it hard to believe anyone would remember me, but I am intrigued that it does happen to be a girl.

Just please don’t let it be the girl I had a crush on the entire 4 years I was there. She was a good looking girl. Total 80’s high hair, nice eyes, etc. I was so intimidated and deathly shy that I never even spoke to her. I don’t think we maybe had 2 classes together the whole time, but we were often in the same homeroom. And I would look at her all the time, but I could never even bring myself to even just say “hi”. Just please don’t tell me it’s her. I wouldn’t want to think of her as being a married mom. I’d prefer to think of her spending her days, pining over my picture in the yearbook and constantly yearning for me.

Guys are such cads. We all prefer that our exes or the girls that never gave us the time of day are now all regretting not being with us. It’s a guy thing to think that all of them are trolling MySpace and Facebook, desperately looking to track us down and reveal their real feelings for us. That is a big life regret that they never got with us. I know that’s what all of my exes are doing these days. Yea, just shut up and let me believe, OK?

T goes into work today, and even gets a note from said mom-with said mom’s name on it. The note was about why her kid didn’t do its homework or some such. (What did you think I was gonna say the note was about?) T comes home, and I ask her what the mom’s name is. I have to find out who my new stalker is. “Um, I forget. Shit, I even got a note from her and I meant to save it. I know her first name, but not her (maiden) last name.” She tells me the name, and I can honestly tell you I don’t know who she is talking about. So now I will hang in limbo until the mystery woman reveals herself.

Or maybe I will just see her at the reunion next year.

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