Yes, last week I was in the land of friends, sun, heat, bay, ocean, sand, boardwalk, rum, Corona, crabs, crossword puzzles, books, suntan lotion, caramel corn, cheeseballs and awesome t-shirts. Yes, I was on vacation.
Right, I know what you’re thinking. “Jesus Christ, this shithead hasn’t had a job in two fucking years, what the hell does he have to vacation from?” And, well, you’re kinda right. I could bore you with the slight existence of a pathetic sot like myself. But I am really trying to stay away from such starkly realistic Klogs. Never mind that I’m drinking nail polish –I prefer Revlon the best- and huffing gold paint like it’s going out of style. And to be honest, this vacation would never have happened without the extreme generosity of our friends John and April. Earlier this year, we hypnotized them and….
OK, that’s a lie. Earlier this year, they told us they would generously provide a vacation f
or all of us. This was great news to hear in our humble little refrigerator box. We are in no position to turn down such a deal. Really, I mean, have someone go ahead and make us the same offer, we will gladly take it up. I double dog dare ya.
So that’s why there has been no Klog goodness last week. It turns out I was unable to get on a wireless network. And to be honest, I really didn’t miss the ‘Net. I checked email one time via John’s iPhone, and that was it. I didn’t really feel the need to write either; more a need to just have this week and see what I come back with. I didn’t miss the Net at all. The porn, yes, but the Net, no. Actually, it was quite nice to be away from it. I think part of what makes a vacation a vacation is the chance to NOT do things you do all the time.
And that is what I am working on, a whole bunch of mildly amusing and short (no more fucking 10 pagers about vacationing with kids) Klogs about my wickedly keen observations. Expect that to be the gist of the next few Klogs. Then it will be back to fart jokes and my rum fueled rantings.
I will say that going down, I was hoping to have a wacky adventure along the lines of those great 80s movies like Summer Rental or One Crazy Summer. I really wanted to be in one outlandish scenario, whereby all my friends and I were thrust into a wacky situation, where we all bonded together to ultimately save the day. John Candy saved Summer Rental via h
is trousers, and Hoops and friends rehabbed a boat to beat the bad guys. Plus, he totally got to nail a young Demi Moore. Are my expectations too much to ask for? Just one adventure where all my friends bond together to fight some sort of weak evil, and somehow save summer for everyone at the beach.
I can assure you no such thing happened, but it was awesome nonetheless. I hope you stay tuned, or whatever is the equivalent term in the blog world.
Right, I know what you’re thinking. “Jesus Christ, this shithead hasn’t had a job in two fucking years, what the hell does he have to vacation from?” And, well, you’re kinda right. I could bore you with the slight existence of a pathetic sot like myself. But I am really trying to stay away from such starkly realistic Klogs. Never mind that I’m drinking nail polish –I prefer Revlon the best- and huffing gold paint like it’s going out of style. And to be honest, this vacation would never have happened without the extreme generosity of our friends John and April. Earlier this year, we hypnotized them and….
OK, that’s a lie. Earlier this year, they told us they would generously provide a vacation f
or all of us. This was great news to hear in our humble little refrigerator box. We are in no position to turn down such a deal. Really, I mean, have someone go ahead and make us the same offer, we will gladly take it up. I double dog dare ya.So that’s why there has been no Klog goodness last week. It turns out I was unable to get on a wireless network. And to be honest, I really didn’t miss the ‘Net. I checked email one time via John’s iPhone, and that was it. I didn’t really feel the need to write either; more a need to just have this week and see what I come back with. I didn’t miss the Net at all. The porn, yes, but the Net, no. Actually, it was quite nice to be away from it. I think part of what makes a vacation a vacation is the chance to NOT do things you do all the time.
And that is what I am working on, a whole bunch of mildly amusing and short (no more fucking 10 pagers about vacationing with kids) Klogs about my wickedly keen observations. Expect that to be the gist of the next few Klogs. Then it will be back to fart jokes and my rum fueled rantings.
I will say that going down, I was hoping to have a wacky adventure along the lines of those great 80s movies like Summer Rental or One Crazy Summer. I really wanted to be in one outlandish scenario, whereby all my friends and I were thrust into a wacky situation, where we all bonded together to ultimately save the day. John Candy saved Summer Rental via h
is trousers, and Hoops and friends rehabbed a boat to beat the bad guys. Plus, he totally got to nail a young Demi Moore. Are my expectations too much to ask for? Just one adventure where all my friends bond together to fight some sort of weak evil, and somehow save summer for everyone at the beach.I can assure you no such thing happened, but it was awesome nonetheless. I hope you stay tuned, or whatever is the equivalent term in the blog world.
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