Yesterday, me and Bauer were heroes. If just for one day.
Against my warmer wishes, I took Bau out for a walk. It seriously felt like it was 15 fucking degrees out. But Bauer doesn’t care. So we’re on the swing back to casa de Theory. As I’m walking along the street, on the other side I see a guy next to a van. He looks a little shady. No big deal, I have my shades and iPod on; I’m in my own little world. As we approach, he yells out to me, “Hey, be careful, there’s an unleashed dog on the corner.” Now I can see there is a dog just sitting on the corner across the street. “I tried to get him in the van, but he won’t come.”
I walk a bit closer. It’s a mangy looking mutt. Clearly a bit older, scruffy and ruffled rust colored fur. It’s a short breed, but the guy is squat. He looks like he can do some damage if he gets a hold of you. I’m still across the street. I take the ears out and sit Bauer. “OK, buddy, we gotta do something here. Be a good boy. Wanna go say hi? Wanna go say hi to him?” Bauer is generally a social dog, and rarely passes up the chance to sniff a new ass. I put Bau on a tight leash and we slowly approach.
Walking Bauer for four years now, I have a pretty good idea which house has dogs and who those dogs might be. Nothing gets a dog barking like when he’s inside and sees a dog walking outside. They bark their heads off, I guess it’s a jealousy thing. And this mutt does not look familiar to me at all. He is a little stand-offish as we approach. I crouch down so as to not appear threatening to the small dog. I can’t tell if he has a collar on yet, and it looks like his left leg might be hurt. I’m no fool and try to keep Bau between me and the mutt. I don’t think Bau has a protective bone in his body, but at least it might buy me a bit of time to turn tail and run like a frightened little girl.
I have big winter gloves on. I call them my Emperor gloves because they are so big and run up my arm well past my wrist. I don’t think it will be much protection if this guy takes a bite. I rationalize that they will, though, and continue with the slow approach. “Hey guy,” I say in a calm tone, “how you doing there? Can we say hi?” Bauer goes up and sniffs about. Both dogs do the dance. Neither one is moving fast at all and it’s a calm scene. I slowly put my hand out and pet the mutt. “Yea, you’re a good boy,” I continue in a calm tone like I’m the fucking Dog Whisperer or something. The guy is still standing back as me and Bau carry on.
I pet him, and he’s very calm. His fur is kinda thick, and my gloved hand is having a hard time trying to see if he has a collar on. Thankfully he does. I slowly wrap my hand around it as Bau noodles around. The guy comes up to us. Yea, like now he’s all brave and all. Bauer is doing a great job of keeping the mutt occupied. My hands are full; Bauer leashed in my right hand, my left hand is around the collar of the mutt. It takes me a while to find the tag, and when I do I see MING and a just a phone number. Shit, I don’t have my phone. Luckily, guy does and he calls. “Yes, hello? Do you have a dog named Ming? Yes, well we have him here at the corner of so and so. OK, we’ll see you.”
OK, this is good news. “He sounds like an older guy,” he tells me. I see now that Ming does not appear to be hurt, it was just his fur. But he is shaking. I don’t know how long he’s been outside. Maybe he’s cold, he’s probably very nervous. “Don’t worry, Ming. Daddy’s on the way.”
Another guy emerges from the community center across the street. “Yea, he’s been out here for a while, I am glad you guys were able to get a hold of him.” And there we are, 2 dogs and 3 guys on the corner. I am sure it would have been a touching Rockwell painting. Bauer is kinda over it at this point. The guys pet Bau, and he is very calm. I feel bad, I don’t carry treats or anything to give Ming. “The new guy asks, “Does anyone have another leash or something?” Yea, douche, like I carry 2 leashes in my Superhero utility belt. The first guy was delivering food to the community center, and doesn’t have anything in the van. “He looks cold. We can take him inside. They have a dog training class on Monday nights, so we can bring him in.” Time has gone on a bit, I guess his owner must not be very nearby. A car alarm is constantly going off, and I think that is rattling Ming. “Aw, it’s OK, Ming, everything’s all right. Daddy will be here soon.” Bauer is looking at the shaking Ming as if to say, “Ppfftt, lightweight.”
If we take him in, we will have to call the guy back. The number was clearly a landline number, and he’s on the way. We won’t be able to tell him we moved inside. Ming is shaking, and it’s not a bad idea. I look at Bau. He’s sitting, being very good. Shit, if we move Ming, he really should be on a leash. Do I trust him enough that he won’t runaway loose on an intersection? “Sorry guys,” I tell them, “if there’s one lost dog here, it’s not gonna be mine.” I am crouched down, and Ming is between my legs. He is shaking.
Finally, a blue SUV drives up. Out the passenger side emerges an older guy. “Ming, look it’s Daddy!” Ming gets up, and I keep my hand on his collar as he walks to his master. He thanks us and we all carry on with life.
I am immensely proud of Bauer. He was great, and I feel like we did make a difference in at least one guys’ world today. We walk back, and I give Bauer a big treat.
Now, certainly, there are far more heroic things going on every day. And I’m not saying someone should start a petition to rename the streets of the intersection to Bauer & Kev. Because I already filed that motion with the township, now I just need signatures. It made me realize how much I would fucking freak out if it was Bauer in that situation. And it also made me feel good that we were able to reunite a dog with his owner. It showed me I have a lot to learn. Here was a guy I thought was shady, and it turns out he was just trying to help the dog out, too.
It feels good to have done a little bit of good in the world. Now, if, you will excuse me, I see the hotline from the commissioner is going off. I guess our services are needed again. Damn, being a hero sure is hard work.
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