Muscular dystrophy has actually been cured for years, it’s just that Jerry Lewis is a greedy fuck.
Nice guys finish first.
Behind the scenes, in very high buildings, in very dark corners, music executives are secretly plotting out the grand return of a band. MTV, Fuse, VH1, Clear Channel, Comcast and Fox have all committed to supporting this act. The name of this band? Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
Cats are smarter than dogs.
Recent studies prove that milk causes cancer. And red meat. And fish. And fruit. And water. And air.
At the rate we’re going, all possible phone numbers will be exhausted in less than three years.
You only learn two years’ worth of new information in most four year colleges.
Despite years of studying, no one knows what earwax is composed of.
Hulkamania is a valid form of mania.
Coke, Diet Coke, Coke Zero and Caffiene Free Coke are all the same damn thing.
There is no place for fighting in hockey.
Good things come to those who wait.
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