F the Ph

OK, something has been bothering me. I’ve seen it all over the news, and from a bunch of my FaceBook friends. It ticks me off, and I need to vent.

Lately, it seems the ability to spell certain words has gone by the wayside. Now, I’m not saying it’s an indictment of the current public school system, ‘cause that’s far too easy of a target. There has been a very conscious effort on the part of the media to deliberately misspell words. And I declare it’s time to stop.

I don’t know why I’m such a stickler for spelling. Maybe it’s because I fancy myself a writer. Maybe it’s because any motard can use SpellCheck. Maybe it’s because the one word I seem to misspell the most is, ironically enough, ‘learn’. Maybe it’s because I was the 6th grade spelling champ. (Yea, take that, Timmy Craig. What gas station are you working at now? And are they hiring?) It’s making my city look bad, and it needs to stop.

It’s spelled ‘fever’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘fun’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘fucking’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘fanatic’. There is no ph. Unless you are talking about the Phillie Phanatic. OK, I’ll give you that one. He’s my favorite player. Ooh, there’s another one.

It’s spelled ‘favorite’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘fan’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘finally’. There is no ph.

I think you get my point. When I turn on the news, and see a glaring headline like “Phillies Phever”, I can’t help but feel like a motard. Enouph is enouph. Using ’ph’ makes you look like you are an 8 year old girl with a crush. Are the ‘i’s in Phillies dotted with little pink hearts? I can’t help but cringe when I see men, grown men, with wives and kids and jobs spelling ‘fan’ as ‘phan’. Honestly put, the behavior is rather ‘phay’. Besides, that poor guy who works down at the China Garden is getting all paranoid because everyone else is wearing his name on their shirts. My wall on FB is littered with such atrocities. (And, yes, I sound phay bitching about my FB wall.)

Look, I am not actively rooting against the Phils. I actually hope they win. I think it would be great for the city, great for the fans and great for morale. Plus, I absolutely love watching sports fans doing stupid things when their team wins the championship. Fighting, rowdiness, drunken mayhem, general destruction. I’m not ragging on Philly here, it happens in every town; yes, it’s even happened with my beloved Avalanche as well. I just don’t know whose fans are more obnoxious; Philly’s or New York’s. Yea, I’ll pull for the Phils here. But it won’t be enough tonight to take me away from my usual Wednesday night routine of Ghost Hunters, The Ultimate Fighter, then crawling up into a ball and crying myself to sleep. But I might tune in between commercials.