My, my, my things are certainly picking up around the Theory offices. Last week I regaled you with tales of pissing in front of Mandy Moore. (Which is only like a post or 2 down, so feel free to read it and you won’t feel left out.) Well, there’s been a serious upgrade being made in terms of starlets I urinate in front of. This week, one of my favorites has magically appeared. Yes, 24 cutie and Girl Next Door Elisha Cuthbert. Rowwwrrrr!
While it’s not up to me to question how these things appear and disappear; I do not ask. I am only happy when it does. I now suspect it is the water company behind these new shenanigans. For example, last week I was mildly amused with pissing in front of Mandy Moore. It just wasn’t that big of a thrill. But now that Elisha has materialized, I find myself drinking approximately twice my body weight in ounces of water, just so I can relief myself in all of Elisha’s blonde cuteness. Not to even mention how many times I now flush the hopper.
Elisha first came to prominence in 24; a show we all know I am addicted to. On the show we (and by we, I mean horny guys everywhere) watched her play Jack Bauer’s daughter Kim. We watched her grow from ungrateful kid to barely serviceable CTU agent. Maybe it is just coincidence that the seasons the show blew donkey chunks were the years she was hardly on. This year was a home run, surely due in part to the return of Kim-even if we find out she is now in the MILF category (the character, not the person, thank God). So let’s just say I am very familiar with Cuthbert.
There’s a lot to like about her. She’s not one of those trouble/party babes. And she dates hockey players! I play hockey! Sure, it’s street hockey, and I play poorly, but, hey, I can dream. (And yes, she was the “sloppy seconds” that Sean Avery referred to.) Every time when I’ve used the john the last few days, I have had this splendor to look at:
While it’s not up to me to question how these things appear and disappear; I do not ask. I am only happy when it does. I now suspect it is the water company behind these new shenanigans. For example, last week I was mildly amused with pissing in front of Mandy Moore. It just wasn’t that big of a thrill. But now that Elisha has materialized, I find myself drinking approximately twice my body weight in ounces of water, just so I can relief myself in all of Elisha’s blonde cuteness. Not to even mention how many times I now flush the hopper.
Elisha first came to prominence in 24; a show we all know I am addicted to. On the show we (and by we, I mean horny guys everywhere) watched her play Jack Bauer’s daughter Kim. We watched her grow from ungrateful kid to barely serviceable CTU agent. Maybe it is just coincidence that the seasons the show blew donkey chunks were the years she was hardly on. This year was a home run, surely due in part to the return of Kim-even if we find out she is now in the MILF category (the character, not the person, thank God). So let’s just say I am very familiar with Cuthbert.
There’s a lot to like about her. She’s not one of those trouble/party babes. And she dates hockey players! I play hockey! Sure, it’s street hockey, and I play poorly, but, hey, I can dream. (And yes, she was the “sloppy seconds” that Sean Avery referred to.) Every time when I’ve used the john the last few days, I have had this splendor to look at:
But, wait, there’s more! Turns out there is another Elisha cover on the back of the magazine. 2 Elisha’s for the price of one! O lucky day! I actually prefer the back cover shot. With her sly smile, hand playfully poised behind her head. Take a gander for yo’ self:
It’s almost like she’s saying, “O, Kevin! You’re back again? I missed you so much. I really like spending time with you here. This bathroom gets so lonely for a girl like me.” Ever since she graced the top of the bowl, I have all but stopped whizzing outside. Almost, some habits are hard to break, eh? I don’t know how long Elisha will be gracing my commode. I know sooner or later, she will probably disappear; they always seem to just disappear. (She will probably disappear real quick if someone read s this Klog.) I can only appreciate here time in my bathroom.
If you will excuse me, I have drunk 5 glasses of water in the time it took me to write this up, and I must go pee like a madman.
Still, a part of me wonders, who will be next?
1 comment:
You should get out more...
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