Total BullShit Facts w/o July 19

Welcome to what will likely be a new, recurring feature on the KT; Total BullShit Facts. And I will confess that this is hardly an original gimmick. I think Letterman does something very similar. Like most of my “great” ideas, this one was born from a late night.

Seems my insomnia has been acting up this past week. There is no worse feeling than going to bed ‘early’ (when you’re unemployed, anytime you hit the sack before 4 Am does count as ‘early’. Really, it’s printed in the paperwork.) and lying there, starkly awake. Yes, even I am tired, now my body apparently has no symptoms of being tired. So I fight it out a bit, then finally head downstairs to read. Hopefully this will get me to feeling sleepy. Finding the proper reading material is key. You want, light, airy reading. So the books I’ve checked out of the library with such titles as Coping With Job Loss and How to Stop Being Such a Miserable Fucktard are of no use to me now. I turn to the reliable Uncle John’s Bathroom reader series. It’s great for ADD, every topic lasts maybe 2 pages, tops. At the bottom of every page is a small factoid. Now the UJ people purport these to be true, but who really knows. It was this that got my weak mind thinking “Shit, I can probably make these up and sound just as legit.

Now that you know the humbling beginnings, feel free to wander through this weeks’ offering. I suppose if I was truly Net savvy, I would put these out through Twitter, but that whole notion pisses me off. But that’s another post for another time. So enjoy these for now.

The Sudan has 14 professional backgammon leagues.
Most blind people think you smell like EZ Cheese.
Peanut butter is an aphrodisiac to lady bugs.
Roger Goodman of Dentonville, AR made a pincushion entirely of belly lint for his wife. It took him 37 years to make. She soon divorced him.
Top three things in children’s nightmares; 3) clowns 2) monsters/ghosts 1) Dan Rather
Adding Borax to the gasoline in your lawn mower will increase fuel efficiency by 16%.
Pubic hair never develops split ends.
Cows used to be lactose intolerant, but evolution is a pretty groovy thing.
Faith Hill has 11 toes, but is still so blindingly hot, no one’s ever noticed.
Raisins left in the freezer turn back into grapes.
The 1990’s actually started in December of 1989.
Christopher Columbus also brought Chlamydia to the New World as well.
Nails were invented before hammers.
Dennis The Menace was the first comic strip character to utter the term “douchebag”.
Blondes really are more fun; not just in the sack.