(Originally written 5/26/8)
It’s not a surprise. I’ve seen it coming for weeks now. I can’t describe it (so geez, Kevolution Theory, let’s just try to write a blog about it. Sounds like fun, dipshit.) I’ve seen it, but have been too busy to write to point it out. So what better time than now? Now being 12:11 AM on Memorial Day Monday. The fuel of coconut rum is now in danger of running dry. So that means I will surely catch a ration of shit. Last time I did this was Friday night, where I Klogged my guts out for you’s, silent, fucking unappreciative readers. 2 posts (just re-edited the last one and put it up, really believing it was as funny as it could be.) There have been signs. And now I choose to point them out, as long as the rum lasts. BTW, I am misspelling like a motherfucker, so y’all better appreciate this shit and Kudo me out the ass.
The first time I can really recall seeing signs that summer was on its way was in the bucket with Scotty. When we were up that high, the sunshine and clear blue skies just had ‘the look’. It was it the way the sun reflected off of..well anything. The glare, the reflection, the sky, the breeze, it just had that teasing quality of ’yea, KT, it’s me summer, and I am coming.’ I am sure Scotty didn’t see it. I am sure he didn’t feel it. It was almost just a personal sign to Kevin Almighty. “Get ready to break out the board shorts and buy new flip flops. I am just a few weeks away, and I just might be able to heal you.” And this is not to say the subsequent sunburn and peeling of flesh was not a de facto sign. (I don’t know why I italicized ‘de facto’ other than I’ve almost only seen it that way.)
Since then, I’ve created my own signs. Take for instance, the breaking out of the grill. O, it’s been a sweet few weeks. It first started with one of my best friends in this world, we’ll call him Flyin’, since that is in fact what I call him. He came over to watch a Wings game on line (which they lost, motherfuckers). It was a beautiful day and the Mrs. was off doing…something. When inviting him over, I said let’s barbecue. I take my grill seriously. It’s almost an inherent gift. I don’t read no books or study or whatnot. It’s an intrinsic gift that I just know when the meat in question is done. Burgers, chicken, pork, buffalo, shrimp, crab, etc. Me and fire get along well. In fact, if I had to say I had a personal logo, it would be blue flames. But that is a topic for another post.
As such, I feel an inherent competition amongst my fellow loser neighbors. I want to be the first. So Flyin’ did me a great favor by coming over. He gave me an excuse to fire up the old grill first. There’s a guy right next to use that is probably similar in age (but looks far older). He’s a griller, too. His grill will drift right into our kitchen window. Man, that pisses me off. I smell it and feel like I lost this imaginary battle. So to be the first free and clear to burn dead animal on the grill is a huge stroke to the ego. I was a proud papa to take the cover off the grill, shake the winter months off, and fire that motherfucker up. No one else within the vicinity of my yard did so yet, so score points for me. Me and Flyin’ ate the sweetest chicken and burgers in the ‘hood that day. The rest of the grills sat in quiet jealousy. Not even Lou, the guy right behind us, christened his grill yet. This is the same Lou that you hear dumping the weekend worth’s of empties in the recycle can every Sunday night. Point and match me.
I’ve been wearing shorts more and more. And by shorts, I mean the 2-3 pair that I didn’t put in the crawlspace last fall. Yes, all the boardshorts are still safe in storage bins in the crawlspace. A few weeks ago, I made it official by dragging out the hammock. That is, until I realized I somehow lost an all important S-hook. So the hammock looked like a deflated balloon. Defeated, hanging by one S-hooked metal chain; the other end limply on the ground. My, my, my, so sad, and such a tease. I took days for me to get the Mrs. to run to Lowe’s and get another Goddamn S-hook that can hold my fat ass in hammocked-bliss.
The days have been getting longer. The glorious sun hangs longer in the evening sky. Bauer looks at us like, “yo, seriously, let’s get the hell out there. I have new yards to piss and poop on.” When I take him out by myself, I wear the iPod, looking to create new spring/summer memories for the songs being played. Speaking of which, I will tell you I have not rearranged the order of my SummerSongs mix since I was in OCMD last year. Sure, I’ve added a bunch of songs (including a bunch of Southern Culture on the Skids surf instrumentals. Do yourself a favor, and check out this band, as I added almost every single song from their last 8 CDs today.) but have not changed the order since the last time I was walking/running in OCMD. Call me superstitious or nostalgic.
I feel it in me. The last few weeks, I have been hawking out ocean/boardwalk cams online, just to try to feel like I’m there. I have found a few favorites. And as a service to you, dear reader, I am ready to reveal some of the best places to go on the web to feel a bit closer to Mother Ocean. We’ll start in Wrightsville. This camera was way better a few years ago. It was off line for a long time, but I kept track of it, off of my WEA PC to here. They have change the camera angle, almost daily now. Not as good or as clear as it was. A slight bonus is that they loop ocean sound effects, so it does make you feel a little bit more like you are there. Worth the browser pointing, so visit:
http://www.wrightsville.com/bchcam.htm
Longtime readers know I have spent some time in OCMD, so here are a few good cameras that I’ve been viewing. First one if from the Kite Loft. I’ve run/walked by this cam many times. It almost hurts to watch, because I can visualize everything around it. It’s a painful tease. Every time I went by it, I made sure to look up; in the vain hope that someone else was watching me. That they were jealous that I was that close to the beach. Or they wanted to run like they had a stick up their ass. Either way. Not a live cam feed, but every 5 seconds, and worth it. See what I’m talking about at:
http://www.kiteloft.com/beach_webcam.asp
Let’s stay in OC. This is a great cam. Not live, but updates quite frequently. And there’s a great shortcut, too. There’s a dropdown menu in the center that says ‘view more cams’ and allows you to view multiple cams. Again, I have personally been through many of these locations, and they are almost all great views. Sucks that they are not streaming. I look at many of these cams and get insanely jealous that I am not there. Insanely jealous.
http://www.ococean.com/webcam.html
Good God, I miss this so much right now, it’s almost causing me pain. OK, maybe it’s that or the orange creamsicles, coconut rum & cokes and now just Captain Morgan and Coke Zeros. Seriously, kids, I am growing depressed, which might beget brilliant writing or melancholy writing. Either way I soldier on. You guys even care?
This used to be another good picture cam. Alas, it was the victim of a fire, and at least they let you know, and show you a picture of the cam getting ready to be swallowed by flame. If/when it gets back on line, it’s worth a look. See this one at:
http://www.oceancitycam.com/
This is a wicked cool camera. It’s pretty much live. Not only can you pick a few predetermined points, you can also control the cam and zero in and out. Its reliability is questionable, but well worth it when it’s on (Hey, just like me!) Prob the best streaming cam on the OCMD boardwalk I have stumbled across so far. Check it out at:
http://www.ocmdhotels.com/oceancityinletcam/
Just don’t bitch at me when it doesn’t work. (It doesn’t appear to be working now at 1:50 at night. Or maybe it’s just really, really dark. Whatever. Hey, who’s drinking my Captain & Coke Zero? It can’t be me. Shit, I’m toast tomorrow.)
So let’s go a bit further south. I fully plan a long, melancholy, painful post about me and Virginia Beach. Here I go, setting myself up to write another post, so please hold me to it. I expect some of my MySpace friends to encourage me. Look for that post in about 2 weeks when we would usually be down there. Until then, feel free to view these cameras, and imagine a drunken K Theory stumbling by.
We’ll start here. The Raven is a place we’ve walked past dozens of times over the years. Along with a bunch of friends last year, I finally ate there. And some of us got sick. Not me and my iron stomach mind you, but a few more of the weaker bitched about some shit like “undercooked meat” or some such pansy shit. So that was the first and last time I ever darkened that doorway. (Would I love to in 2 weeks? FUCK YEAH! But again, that a different story for another hopefully upcoming post.) This site is cool because they’ve upgraded it to 4 views around the restaurant. I particularly enjoy the street view. Many times I’ve passed there, and waved to the camera. Again, I was hoping there was some other loser jealous fuck watching the camera and hoping to be me. And if you want to see where I sat my lone time in there, check out the bar cam. We were slightly over and under to the bottom right. You’ll have to imagine the puke later in the hotel. Regardless, still a good cam that updates every second.
http://www.theraven.com/barfly/
Let’s bring it up a bit back north, to the lovely Wildwoods, NJ. Now, excuse Grandpa Theory, as I lean back in my rocking chair on the porch. Now back when I was a kid, it was just “Wildwood”, with minor emphasis placed on Wildwood Crest and North Wildwood. In fact, back then, it was called “Childwood”, in reference to all the partying kids that lived and pissed in the streets there every summer. There was something that was called “the block that rocks” which was highlighted by a club called the Playpen (if I recall correctly, I never had the pleasure to go.) Wildwood was the place that high school and college kids went and made drunken asses of themselves. Boy, am I jealous. Without getting too deep, Wildwood was my first real, adolescent experience to the shore.
Just to be that close, to sniff the action, to pick up on the clues of all that I saw happening hooked me. My sisters had a place down there for a few years. It was literally a converted garage, the driveway ran right up to the steps. It was 5 rooms: kitchen, bathroom (with only a shower stall with a mirror complete with a 1940’s pinup model painted on), living room, and 2 bedrooms. And that’s not counting the ‘screened in porch’. The living room was carpeted in Astroturf. No AC, black and white TV. Yea, it sounds like a dump, and it probably was, but I swear to you, I had life changing events there. Shit that molded my mind to where it is today. I could go on…..
But let’s just stick to a cool webcam I found that appears to be offline right now. There were 2 cams here that pretty much updated every second. Boardwalk view and I believe Ferris Wheel. I haven’t been back to Wildwood since the fall of ’98. I miss it desperately. Feel my pain at:
http://www.gwcoc.org/webcam_2.html
Here’s some other cool cams that I drop into when I need those Calgon moments to take me away. A streaming one from Hawaii complete with music:
http://www.honolulu.gov/multimed/waikiki.asp
This is a good streaming one from Santa Monica. Wish I could say more, but as I type it’s dark as shit. Since I saved it, I am sure it must be spectacular in the day. Prove me wrong at:
http://www.hermosawave.net/webcam/newcamvideo.php
There’s 2 streaming cams here that are generally pretty good. Surf cams from Florida.
http://www.hermosawave.net/webcam/newcamvideo.php
Last, I will leave you with a great search site for various beach cams. I am getting too tired to explain much more, so have your lazy ass check it out yourself. Me goings to bed.
http://www.webcamplaza.net/
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