1) Get these out actually before the New Year hits.
New Year's Resolutions are pretty much bullshit. I'm not the first one to point it out and won't be the last. Yet, you sheep continue to make them like it makes a damn of difference. People, somewhere there is a talking frog somehow drinking a cup of tea and looking down on your foibles.
Drink more. Fine, I mean, if I have to. Almost all of you lamos picked this one for your sissy resolutions. Ha, not me suckers! I now feel like it's my civil duty. What with all this extra alcohol just lying around, collecting dust like positive reviews for Cats, the economy will crash. Not on this patriot's watch. If there's anything I've learned from the Modelo commercials, it's that beer brings this great country together. Alcohol is my friend, my wingman. No one has ever said, "I just had a Sprite with Kev, and you know what? He is quite the charmer. Very funny, too. I'll have to read his blog sometime. And you know what? He's kinda hot." Besides, what's better after a night of having a few drinks than waking up feeling like shit? Personally, I enjoy spending most of the morning trying to fashion a Gatorade drip, brushing my teeth 10 times and feeling like it's a workout to just sit up. Throw in some shitty pizza and fries for dinner, and that is living. All worth it for a few measly White Claws, amirite?
Spend less time with Theory Pup 2. Really, he can go fuck himself. He lies around on the couches all day, something TP 1 never got to do, BTW. You know what it's like to fight the dog hungover (me, not him. Not yet, anyway.) for couch space? And all the time I waste giving him belly rubs? You know he eats, multiple times a day, for free?? What is this bullshit? Just because of his unconditional love? All the times he cheers me up when I am blue? The times he drags me out of the house on beautiful (and not so beautiful) days for walks. The times he redeems all my shitty days? The daily laughs? Why, just last night, I was lying on the couch. This son of a bitch jumps right on me, his body between my legs, his knucklehead on my chest. He looks at me with all the love in the world in his eyes. He gently falls asleep, punctuated with gentle puppy snores. This is the most serenity and peace I can find this side of the ocean. And what do I have to do for this? Pick up all his dooks in the yard. Once a month. Honestly, there is so much there, I swear he has his friends come over to leave a steamer. Pfft, yea, fuuucck him.
Spend more time on Facebook. Yes, in the past I championed a movement hash tagged (by me) as #FacebookFree48. The essence of this enlightening practice is spending 2 days -usually Saturday and Sunday, but you can choose-off all of your social media. In return, you almost get 2 whole days back to keep all your bullshit resolutions. You get more time to spend with friends/family, live in the moment, meditate, read, write, walk the dog, blah blah blah. Sounds transcendent, right? You know what happened. Everyone said, "Great idea, Kev!" then right fucking ignored it. Instead, they dispensed with the life right in front of them, and just stared right into their little escape boxes. They even ignored my much simpler idea of not checking you socials first thing in the morning. And you know who this "they" is I am referring to? YOU. Yes, all of YOU reading this right now. YOU.
Fine, you guys win. I am now firmly resolving to checking my social media no less than 75 times an hour. And yes, I have alarms set to remind me. I'm hardcore when I resolve things, damn it. I have decided I constantly need to evaluate my life based on the actions of others, many of who/whom I barely know and will most likely never even physically see in this life. Or the next! How come you guys never told me how much fun this is? I now wholeheartedly enjoy comparing my Saturday night lying on the couch to what your Saturday night is. And, oh man, the fun of waking up on a Wednesday morning and seeing what you did the night before is an awesome way to start out the day! And, oh, all the places you "check in" to or even just the things you are merely interested in? Color me fascinated. I have particularly come to enjoy the vauge-postings. You know, the ones where you post something vague/cryptic/picture, and just leave it hanging there for your other shithead friends to raise a fuss about? I just can't imagine how redeemed and valued that must make you feel. You are a true hero.
Not to leave out all the people who post the same thing every time. Or cry victim about a situation you can change on your own and with no fanfare! Not all heroes wear capes! Which brings me to....
Argue more politics on FB. Quick show of hands here, friends; how many of your political stances have been changed by what you've seen on FB? (Everyone's hands goes up.) Exactly, I totes knew that! To clarify, all of you who post pro a certain political President sway me every time! Hold on, now all you who post anti a certain political President, well, dang it, you just swayed me your way! This is tough. Can y'all just keep hammering home your political beliefs? I will always read them. Better yet, can you enter arguments? Because the nations' opinion always changes when you slam a politician on a page that loves them. Which also brings me to..
Continue My 2020 Presidential Campaign Because I know more about politics about most politicians, really. Much more. By a bigly amount. And let's face it, I am the Preside- no scratch that-the Savior this country needs. Many more blogs to come, the best blogs, really. In the history of blogs. Full of ideas, perfect ideas. The best ideas, everyone knows that. #VoteForKev2020 #YWA
Read less. Again, this is because you guys are being jerks about this one. Almost every resolution I've read has said "read more." Therefore, there will be less to read. Why fight it? You eggheads, go ahead, and hog all the books. I assume y'all know where the library is? And that you even have a valid library card? Or know what a library is? It's fine. Honestly, I still have magazines from 20freaking18 I still haven't finished. How can I appreciate what all the Hot Summer Gear for 2020 is, when I didn't even know what the Hot Summer Gear for 2018 was?! I've also been procrastinating about reading a book I was given months ago- Eat That Frog-about ways to stop procrastinating. I don't have time, damn it! What I really need is a book about how to find the time to read another book about procrastinating. Can one of my fellow writer friends make that happen? So, If I'm reading less, that gives me more time for (and, GD, my segues are strong for not writing lately)...
Writing less. Phew, what a relief this will be. I mean, last year, I only wrote 8 blogs, with my last one being in August. Shit, I need to slow down my pace already! Here's the thing with writing, at least for me. Believe it or not, these dumb posts actually take a lot of time. It's not just writing, but rewriting, editing, "word surgery," tightening things up, fact checking, hyper-linking, more jokes, pictures, captions, SEO tricks (SEO stand for Shit Everyone Overlooks-at least when I try to do it) and generally a 'sleeping' on it period (that's what she said) to make sure it's good enough and worth your time. As you can hopefully see, these generally take a lot of time; from hours when I'm lucky and the words are just falling out (rare) to a week or longer (most common). And, while rewarding at least to me, it's starting to take up a lot of time. A lot of time I can be doing other things. Like all of my rebel resolutions.
And, for me, here's how the experience goes. I feel super fortunate that, say, 20 people 'like' or tell me they enjoy my post. Yet, it only gets 7 hits. While there is value for me to what I consider my art, if the payoff is so damn small, is that still a justifiable return on my investment? Would I personally have more fun getting hammered and beating people up in WWE 2K20 or pouring my black heart and blacker soul into a hilarious piece of art that 11 people read and the one odd hit from Tajikistan? (Where I am huge, BTW.) What's the point in trying if you can't give up? I think Homer Simpson said that, and every great artist felt that way about their art. I've always said history will appreciate me far more after I am gone, which is such an easy way to die. Speaking of dying....
Workout less. I am so damn tired. I don't know how many crunches I have done. Or how much weight I have benched. And for what? To be "in shape?" To "be healthy?" To "live longer?" Honestly, I have pushed myself to do some dangerous things in the gym, it's a minor miracle I haven't hurt myself more. All for what? To "look good?" I have come to the realization that, for me, all this lifting of weight and sharing of sweat has been a big waste. I'll never look thew way I'd want to look, so why bother? Are you not familiar with a great Homer Simpson quote along these lines? At least the one good thing I have going for me is I am not handsome. Maybe, on some level, this has been a fuel for me to go to the gym 4-5 days a week. Thankfully, I have now come to realize that because nature has set the bar so low for me, the best I could aspire to be is a butterface. And I could be so much more? Er, wait, do I want to be some much less? Damn it, I don't even know anymore. But at least I do know, that with working out less comes...
Eating more. Not just because of the above, but because, again, it's a common resolution to eat less. Ergo, there will be more food available. And while I hope all this extra food magically finds its way to the most hungry, I think it's fair to say there should be a bit more available to me. So I should be available to eat it. Pretty sure that is the circle of life. I've tried to be a clean eater for years. Using the NutriBullet, trying to eat more plant based stuff, denying myself. Now I robustly say, "No more!" Why have I been denying myself eating tasty chicken wings at the expense of food that should theoretically extend my life for an even longer period of not eating tasty chicken wings? What's the bloody point here? Does Taco Bell have a frequent eater card? 'Cause I'm gonna need one.
Not learn how to play guitar. No, fuck that.
Not learn how to play the violin and the harp. What's the value of learning to play any instrument? OK, so maybe it's better for your brain. And maybe it's a skill you can hone that makes others happy and might get you a few bucks. We all know music is the most vastly underappreciated form of art out there. Music has helped me in my most darkest times, so I owe it to the art to not desecrate it by trying to play. Anything. I have 2 guitars I still have no idea how to play. Let's up the ante here. I would like to not learn how to play two far more difficult instruments. Sorry, symphonic metal bands, you will have to do without me. Good luck getting laid, though.
Meditate less. Er, wait, is "meditating" code for pooping? I doubt that, so Imma just gonna go ahead and somehow do less of something I don't do anyway. What does enlightenment get me anyway? Why do I want to feel better, stress less, feel healthier and live in the moment? Why do I get the feeling folks think meditating is trying to have zero thoughts in your head? Because I see plenty of empty headed idiots all around me. Or is meditating supposed to be you alone with your thoughts? Or quieting your inner voice? Dude, that is exactly why I drink. Why do you think I made that 'drink more' resolution? For my health? Sheesh, pay attention.
Travel less. You know what travelers love more than traveling? Talking about traveling. And if they do CrossFit while traveling, y'all best run for the hills because they will blather on for days. Have you ever been out in the world? It's a scary, dirty place. Full of strange looking people that talk funny and spread germs. Maybe that's just a generalization, I really don't wanna know. I don't see the benefit of going to all these strange places. Just because they have things there we don't have here? Newsflash, there's a small tower in the center of my small town, so go suck a big one, Paris. I have no less than 3 different pizza places nearby that are all on a first name basis with me. Why would I need to travel to Italy for more Italian cuisine? You will have to do better than a leaning tower and a sinking city; we got plenty of them here, Giuseppe. I see no need to go to different places strictly for just the experience; let alone different culture, people, traditions, music, geography, food, drink, hot exotic women, architecture, experiences, art and on and on and on. I've been to the Jersey shore; many times. I'm good.
Write less lists. OK, I'll have to work on this one.
Start smoking. Oh, how my clear lungs used to laugh and laugh at all you smokers, huddled 40 feet away from the doorway of a building. I mean, it's 2020, you know smoking gives you cancer and deteriorates your body, like, well, cancer. I was really going to skip this one, but than I saw this whole vaping thing the adolescent kids are doing, and now I'm all like, "Sign me up!" I have the extra money now that I've cancelled my gym membership. Can't wait to look older, lose my teeth, have yellow fingers and develop all these symptoms I see on the drug commercials. If it's good enough for Keith Richards, than, damn it, it's good 'nough for me.
Watch more TV. This one is near and dear to me. I am often in awe when I talk to friends that are married, have jobs, a house, kids, etc. And they seem to have copious amounts of time to binge TV. This also dovetails nicely with my 'work out less' and 'eat more' resolutions. Look at me! Look at me as I sit on my couch and watch all these shows y'all rave about. It's surely not because a lot of this streaming medium is new, so if we spend a few shekels on it, we feel compelled to rave about it in a vain attempt to feel superior? It's not because the Mandalorian is the galaxy's worst babysitter? No, not at all. Now weeknights, weekends, legal holidays, you will find me on my couch, light coating of Dorito dust, streaming all these shows. Also, I know this decree bounds me to further blab how great this show on Netflix/Hulu/Amazon/Disney is on social media. This is the way.
2020, you've been put on blast. You are my bitch. If I make it....um, when, WHEN I make it to NYE 2020, I will be bloated, drunk, ignorant, lonely, probably the President, tense, wheezing but up to date on TV. Don't be haters. I have given you all the tools so you can end up like I will. Maybe we can have a party together. As long as I don't have to travel too far to get there.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. I don't have to write another one for months now. It will probably be some weak sauce attempt about something lame, like trying to sleep with one of these gravity blankets or some bullshit. See you then.
New Year's Resolutions are pretty much bullshit. I'm not the first one to point it out and won't be the last. Yet, you sheep continue to make them like it makes a damn of difference. People, somewhere there is a talking frog somehow drinking a cup of tea and looking down on your foibles.
It got me to thinking; what if I made totally achievable resolutions? Well, that's kinda easy. So that got me even more thinking (my head now has an ouchie, you unappreciative bastards, so y'all better appreciate this post), what if I was just totally a rebel? I mean, I AM a rebel and all (think, like the good Star Wars rebels, not like the racist ones) so what if I went the other way with these BS resolutions? What if I defied all logic, what would that look like? It took me a couple days, but I came up with the Resolutions we all need for the Roaring 20s. Follow along and- uh, wait, actually don't follow along. You guys just stick with your usual resolutions. In fact, just stop reading this now. (Not a problem for a lot of people when it comes to this blog, trust me.) Leave me along with my resolutions, sheeple.
Drink more. Fine, I mean, if I have to. Almost all of you lamos picked this one for your sissy resolutions. Ha, not me suckers! I now feel like it's my civil duty. What with all this extra alcohol just lying around, collecting dust like positive reviews for Cats, the economy will crash. Not on this patriot's watch. If there's anything I've learned from the Modelo commercials, it's that beer brings this great country together. Alcohol is my friend, my wingman. No one has ever said, "I just had a Sprite with Kev, and you know what? He is quite the charmer. Very funny, too. I'll have to read his blog sometime. And you know what? He's kinda hot." Besides, what's better after a night of having a few drinks than waking up feeling like shit? Personally, I enjoy spending most of the morning trying to fashion a Gatorade drip, brushing my teeth 10 times and feeling like it's a workout to just sit up. Throw in some shitty pizza and fries for dinner, and that is living. All worth it for a few measly White Claws, amirite?
 |
| A billion internet points and a Taco Bell hot sauce pack if you get this reference. |
Spend less time with Theory Pup 2. Really, he can go fuck himself. He lies around on the couches all day, something TP 1 never got to do, BTW. You know what it's like to fight the dog hungover (me, not him. Not yet, anyway.) for couch space? And all the time I waste giving him belly rubs? You know he eats, multiple times a day, for free?? What is this bullshit? Just because of his unconditional love? All the times he cheers me up when I am blue? The times he drags me out of the house on beautiful (and not so beautiful) days for walks. The times he redeems all my shitty days? The daily laughs? Why, just last night, I was lying on the couch. This son of a bitch jumps right on me, his body between my legs, his knucklehead on my chest. He looks at me with all the love in the world in his eyes. He gently falls asleep, punctuated with gentle puppy snores. This is the most serenity and peace I can find this side of the ocean. And what do I have to do for this? Pick up all his dooks in the yard. Once a month. Honestly, there is so much there, I swear he has his friends come over to leave a steamer. Pfft, yea, fuuucck him.
Spend more time on Facebook. Yes, in the past I championed a movement hash tagged (by me) as #FacebookFree48. The essence of this enlightening practice is spending 2 days -usually Saturday and Sunday, but you can choose-off all of your social media. In return, you almost get 2 whole days back to keep all your bullshit resolutions. You get more time to spend with friends/family, live in the moment, meditate, read, write, walk the dog, blah blah blah. Sounds transcendent, right? You know what happened. Everyone said, "Great idea, Kev!" then right fucking ignored it. Instead, they dispensed with the life right in front of them, and just stared right into their little escape boxes. They even ignored my much simpler idea of not checking you socials first thing in the morning. And you know who this "they" is I am referring to? YOU. Yes, all of YOU reading this right now. YOU.
Fine, you guys win. I am now firmly resolving to checking my social media no less than 75 times an hour. And yes, I have alarms set to remind me. I'm hardcore when I resolve things, damn it. I have decided I constantly need to evaluate my life based on the actions of others, many of who/whom I barely know and will most likely never even physically see in this life. Or the next! How come you guys never told me how much fun this is? I now wholeheartedly enjoy comparing my Saturday night lying on the couch to what your Saturday night is. And, oh man, the fun of waking up on a Wednesday morning and seeing what you did the night before is an awesome way to start out the day! And, oh, all the places you "check in" to or even just the things you are merely interested in? Color me fascinated. I have particularly come to enjoy the vauge-postings. You know, the ones where you post something vague/cryptic/picture, and just leave it hanging there for your other shithead friends to raise a fuss about? I just can't imagine how redeemed and valued that must make you feel. You are a true hero.
Not to leave out all the people who post the same thing every time. Or cry victim about a situation you can change on your own and with no fanfare! Not all heroes wear capes! Which brings me to....
 |
| I know, I know, the R word. But this is to prove the point. |
Argue more politics on FB. Quick show of hands here, friends; how many of your political stances have been changed by what you've seen on FB? (Everyone's hands goes up.) Exactly, I totes knew that! To clarify, all of you who post pro a certain political President sway me every time! Hold on, now all you who post anti a certain political President, well, dang it, you just swayed me your way! This is tough. Can y'all just keep hammering home your political beliefs? I will always read them. Better yet, can you enter arguments? Because the nations' opinion always changes when you slam a politician on a page that loves them. Which also brings me to..
Continue My 2020 Presidential Campaign Because I know more about politics about most politicians, really. Much more. By a bigly amount. And let's face it, I am the Preside- no scratch that-the Savior this country needs. Many more blogs to come, the best blogs, really. In the history of blogs. Full of ideas, perfect ideas. The best ideas, everyone knows that. #VoteForKev2020 #YWA
Read less. Again, this is because you guys are being jerks about this one. Almost every resolution I've read has said "read more." Therefore, there will be less to read. Why fight it? You eggheads, go ahead, and hog all the books. I assume y'all know where the library is? And that you even have a valid library card? Or know what a library is? It's fine. Honestly, I still have magazines from 20freaking18 I still haven't finished. How can I appreciate what all the Hot Summer Gear for 2020 is, when I didn't even know what the Hot Summer Gear for 2018 was?! I've also been procrastinating about reading a book I was given months ago- Eat That Frog-about ways to stop procrastinating. I don't have time, damn it! What I really need is a book about how to find the time to read another book about procrastinating. Can one of my fellow writer friends make that happen? So, If I'm reading less, that gives me more time for (and, GD, my segues are strong for not writing lately)...
Writing less. Phew, what a relief this will be. I mean, last year, I only wrote 8 blogs, with my last one being in August. Shit, I need to slow down my pace already! Here's the thing with writing, at least for me. Believe it or not, these dumb posts actually take a lot of time. It's not just writing, but rewriting, editing, "word surgery," tightening things up, fact checking, hyper-linking, more jokes, pictures, captions, SEO tricks (SEO stand for Shit Everyone Overlooks-at least when I try to do it) and generally a 'sleeping' on it period (that's what she said) to make sure it's good enough and worth your time. As you can hopefully see, these generally take a lot of time; from hours when I'm lucky and the words are just falling out (rare) to a week or longer (most common). And, while rewarding at least to me, it's starting to take up a lot of time. A lot of time I can be doing other things. Like all of my rebel resolutions.
And, for me, here's how the experience goes. I feel super fortunate that, say, 20 people 'like' or tell me they enjoy my post. Yet, it only gets 7 hits. While there is value for me to what I consider my art, if the payoff is so damn small, is that still a justifiable return on my investment? Would I personally have more fun getting hammered and beating people up in WWE 2K20 or pouring my black heart and blacker soul into a hilarious piece of art that 11 people read and the one odd hit from Tajikistan? (Where I am huge, BTW.) What's the point in trying if you can't give up? I think Homer Simpson said that, and every great artist felt that way about their art. I've always said history will appreciate me far more after I am gone, which is such an easy way to die. Speaking of dying....
Workout less. I am so damn tired. I don't know how many crunches I have done. Or how much weight I have benched. And for what? To be "in shape?" To "be healthy?" To "live longer?" Honestly, I have pushed myself to do some dangerous things in the gym, it's a minor miracle I haven't hurt myself more. All for what? To "look good?" I have come to the realization that, for me, all this lifting of weight and sharing of sweat has been a big waste. I'll never look thew way I'd want to look, so why bother? Are you not familiar with a great Homer Simpson quote along these lines? At least the one good thing I have going for me is I am not handsome. Maybe, on some level, this has been a fuel for me to go to the gym 4-5 days a week. Thankfully, I have now come to realize that because nature has set the bar so low for me, the best I could aspire to be is a butterface. And I could be so much more? Er, wait, do I want to be some much less? Damn it, I don't even know anymore. But at least I do know, that with working out less comes...
 |
| Already ahead of ya, Kev. |
Eating more. Not just because of the above, but because, again, it's a common resolution to eat less. Ergo, there will be more food available. And while I hope all this extra food magically finds its way to the most hungry, I think it's fair to say there should be a bit more available to me. So I should be available to eat it. Pretty sure that is the circle of life. I've tried to be a clean eater for years. Using the NutriBullet, trying to eat more plant based stuff, denying myself. Now I robustly say, "No more!" Why have I been denying myself eating tasty chicken wings at the expense of food that should theoretically extend my life for an even longer period of not eating tasty chicken wings? What's the bloody point here? Does Taco Bell have a frequent eater card? 'Cause I'm gonna need one.
Not learn how to play guitar. No, fuck that.
Not learn how to play the violin and the harp. What's the value of learning to play any instrument? OK, so maybe it's better for your brain. And maybe it's a skill you can hone that makes others happy and might get you a few bucks. We all know music is the most vastly underappreciated form of art out there. Music has helped me in my most darkest times, so I owe it to the art to not desecrate it by trying to play. Anything. I have 2 guitars I still have no idea how to play. Let's up the ante here. I would like to not learn how to play two far more difficult instruments. Sorry, symphonic metal bands, you will have to do without me. Good luck getting laid, though.
Meditate less. Er, wait, is "meditating" code for pooping? I doubt that, so Imma just gonna go ahead and somehow do less of something I don't do anyway. What does enlightenment get me anyway? Why do I want to feel better, stress less, feel healthier and live in the moment? Why do I get the feeling folks think meditating is trying to have zero thoughts in your head? Because I see plenty of empty headed idiots all around me. Or is meditating supposed to be you alone with your thoughts? Or quieting your inner voice? Dude, that is exactly why I drink. Why do you think I made that 'drink more' resolution? For my health? Sheesh, pay attention.
 |
| Hmmm....might need to rethink this one. |
Travel less. You know what travelers love more than traveling? Talking about traveling. And if they do CrossFit while traveling, y'all best run for the hills because they will blather on for days. Have you ever been out in the world? It's a scary, dirty place. Full of strange looking people that talk funny and spread germs. Maybe that's just a generalization, I really don't wanna know. I don't see the benefit of going to all these strange places. Just because they have things there we don't have here? Newsflash, there's a small tower in the center of my small town, so go suck a big one, Paris. I have no less than 3 different pizza places nearby that are all on a first name basis with me. Why would I need to travel to Italy for more Italian cuisine? You will have to do better than a leaning tower and a sinking city; we got plenty of them here, Giuseppe. I see no need to go to different places strictly for just the experience; let alone different culture, people, traditions, music, geography, food, drink, hot exotic women, architecture, experiences, art and on and on and on. I've been to the Jersey shore; many times. I'm good.
Write less lists. OK, I'll have to work on this one.
Start smoking. Oh, how my clear lungs used to laugh and laugh at all you smokers, huddled 40 feet away from the doorway of a building. I mean, it's 2020, you know smoking gives you cancer and deteriorates your body, like, well, cancer. I was really going to skip this one, but than I saw this whole vaping thing the adolescent kids are doing, and now I'm all like, "Sign me up!" I have the extra money now that I've cancelled my gym membership. Can't wait to look older, lose my teeth, have yellow fingers and develop all these symptoms I see on the drug commercials. If it's good enough for Keith Richards, than, damn it, it's good 'nough for me.
Watch more TV. This one is near and dear to me. I am often in awe when I talk to friends that are married, have jobs, a house, kids, etc. And they seem to have copious amounts of time to binge TV. This also dovetails nicely with my 'work out less' and 'eat more' resolutions. Look at me! Look at me as I sit on my couch and watch all these shows y'all rave about. It's surely not because a lot of this streaming medium is new, so if we spend a few shekels on it, we feel compelled to rave about it in a vain attempt to feel superior? It's not because the Mandalorian is the galaxy's worst babysitter? No, not at all. Now weeknights, weekends, legal holidays, you will find me on my couch, light coating of Dorito dust, streaming all these shows. Also, I know this decree bounds me to further blab how great this show on Netflix/Hulu/Amazon/Disney is on social media. This is the way.
2020, you've been put on blast. You are my bitch. If I make it....um, when, WHEN I make it to NYE 2020, I will be bloated, drunk, ignorant, lonely, probably the President, tense, wheezing but up to date on TV. Don't be haters. I have given you all the tools so you can end up like I will. Maybe we can have a party together. As long as I don't have to travel too far to get there.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. I don't have to write another one for months now. It will probably be some weak sauce attempt about something lame, like trying to sleep with one of these gravity blankets or some bullshit. See you then.
