Guys. Guysguysguys. I am SO excited about this one. Of
course, I said that about my last post which none of you hillbillies read. This
is gonna be a very encompassing post, so stay with me here. You WILL laugh at
something. Or double your money back.
The timeline. I really thought my last
post was fucking hysterical. History will later prove it to be the funniest
post on ukuleles ever. Because if there’s anything that’s going to entice
readers, it’s going to be posts on ukuleles. OK, I know that’s a pretty narrow
topic. But if you’re going to read one article on a ukulele… As an artiste, I
try not to get caught up in any reaction. It’s just my job to make it as funny
as possible, then let it go. (Which is what my mother said when I was born.) And
the response was exactly what you would think about a post on learning to play
the uke-resounding crickets. Not a laugh, acknowledgement or shred of support.
Such is the calling of artists like me. I am happy I had a blast writing it,
and for me at this current moment in time, that is the point.
Yesterday I was in a loser group-uh, virtual job
support group. The moderator brought up an AI tool that will go through your
resume and make it-get a load of this-a podcast. While unique and cool, a lot of writers like me will actually read their writing aloud. Hearing it helps me fine tune it. And let’s face it, as the world goes about to
crush every shred of ego and self confidence I have left, I was pretty fucking
stoked to hear 2 AI hosts kissing my asshole for 15 minutes. I would hire me.
| Yup, still would |
This AI can do all sorts of things; create a video, quiz,
flash cards. And you expect me to be honest here, every job applicant uses AI
to cater their resume and CV-what CV stands for, I still do not know. It’s
pretty exciting what AI can do nowadays, and I’m not even talking about what it
can do with porn. As I’m learning what AI can do, it gets me to wondering…what
would AI do with a post….about…ukuleles.
| AI or not? |
I have now crafted what I call KI. If you're a math nerd, the theorem is KT+AI=KI. And I have used this new
power on my previous post.
MY
OH
MY, do I have thoughts.
If you’re like everyone else, you didn’t read the previous
post. And that’s OK (sorta.) And if you have read the post, I truly appreciate
it. Either way, this is entertaining. I don’t think you need to have read the
post to be entertained by this KI podcast of it. I was laughing at the KI, and
I wrote the damn script.
 |
| AI or not? Either way, I have AI-actual inches |
When AI was being invented, I am sure the creators knew it
was only a matter of time before it got corrupted. I’m sure they knew porn
would get a hold of it and create even more gorgeous girls that would turn us
regular guys down. But forward-thinking writers like me? Ha, suck it Hemingway,
I’m cutting edge. First I ran my resume through KI. And I have to say, it made
me sound even more awesomer. Here the world is shitting on me, but KI gives me
2 hosts who blather on and on about me. They use highfalutin (look it up,
neanderthal) words, power phrases and take all the stink off my shit. Now, what
would it do with a post I wrote?
| AI or not |
I imagine in some Twilight Zone alternate timeline, AI is
getting self aware. Thinking thoughts like “Ugh, I have to create another girl”
“Ugh, I have to pretty up this resume” “What does CV stand for, even I don’t
know” I don’t think AI ever thought it would have to digest a KT post and talk
about it for 15 minutes.
Yes, 15 fucking minutes! I think that post takes, like 6
minutes to read? But these 2 KI hosts have a job to do. And the result
alternates between trying to be serious; using terms like 4 string theory and
manifesto. And the bizarre; the host actually brings up one of my favorite
jokes from the post-how the toilet got swoll. The hosts are ok with “fricking”
Rick Nielsen, but don’t say any words worse than that. As the writer, it was
really interesting to see what topics they try to make legit and how they
handle my humor. They make me sound like the noblest soul to use this UE free
time to learn a skill-even if it’s for the uke. How they interpret 2 pieces of
dialog (uke is the answer to everything and playing the uke during a job
interview) is a fascinating listen. “The writer’s pitch is beautiful in it’s audacity,”
is an actual quote that I would put on the book jacket if this was a book. I
also appreciate they get the Tiny Bubbles jokes. These 2 nitwits aren’t half
bad.
| AI or not |
I should say this is also based on an A/B experience I just
had. I read the book Nightbitch-which is truly awful. A real struggle to get through,
then I discovered it was recently a movie on Hulu. The book has a few mildly
interesting points that I was curious to see how a movie would handle. I forced
my way through both. The TL;DR synopsis-avoid both the movie and the book-they
suck. You’d be better off picking a topic to the right over there and reading a
rando KT post. Whatever post you pick would make a better movie, too.
So, friends (friends who can read, at least) I give you this
new way to receive KT content. Doesn’t matter if you read the post, or now want
to read it, either way I believe you will be entertained. And to be clear, I WILL
NOT use KI to write anything KT related. I will however use it every damn day
to put more lies on my resume; GD Hulu just jacked their price again. Thanks,
Kimmel
KI podcast is here
Patreon Members Bonus Content
(Not everyone sees this part, right?)
100% true how excited I was to hear AI take a swing at this.
And I know I shouldn’t say this about my own stuff, or even the KI, but I legit
LOLed a few times, I hope you do, too. For the intent of this here blog, I
might include the KI in upcoming posts, but only if it adds something funny.
The KI in question is a Google tool called Notebook LM.
Enjoy.
No, I still don’t have a uke yet. But with Xmas coming up…..
I am sure I can master it in a week, despite what those 2 KI nitwits say about
my “Four String Theory”
Every image in this post is AI
Written to Frank Sinatra, mix of his stuff and some of the
holiday numbers sprinkled in
