KT Corrupts AI

 

Guys. Guysguysguys. I am SO excited about this one. Of course, I said that about my last post which none of you hillbillies read. This is gonna be a very encompassing post, so stay with me here. You WILL laugh at something. Or double your money back.

The timeline. I really thought my last post was fucking hysterical. History will later prove it to be the funniest post on ukuleles ever. Because if there’s anything that’s going to entice readers, it’s going to be posts on ukuleles. OK, I know that’s a pretty narrow topic. But if you’re going to read one article on a ukulele… As an artiste, I try not to get caught up in any reaction. It’s just my job to make it as funny as possible, then let it go. (Which is what my mother said when I was born.) And the response was exactly what you would think about a post on learning to play the uke-resounding crickets. Not a laugh, acknowledgement or shred of support. Such is the calling of artists like me. I am happy I had a blast writing it, and for me at this current moment in time, that is the point.

Yesterday I was in a loser group-uh, virtual job support group. The moderator brought up an AI tool that will go through your resume and make it-get a load of this-a podcast. While unique and cool, a lot of writers like me will actually read their writing aloud. Hearing it helps me fine tune it. And let’s face it, as the world goes about to crush every shred of ego and self confidence I have left, I was pretty fucking stoked to hear 2 AI hosts kissing my asshole for 15 minutes. I would hire me.

Yup, still would

This AI can do all sorts of things; create a video, quiz, flash cards. And you expect me to be honest here, every job applicant uses AI to cater their resume and CV-what CV stands for, I still do not know. It’s pretty exciting what AI can do nowadays, and I’m not even talking about what it can do with porn. As I’m learning what AI can do, it gets me to wondering…what would AI do with a post….about…ukuleles.

AI or not?

I have now crafted what I call KI. If you're a math nerd, the theorem is KT+AI=KI. And I have used this new power on my previous post.

MY

OH

MY, do I have thoughts.

If you’re like everyone else, you didn’t read the previous post. And that’s OK (sorta.) And if you have read the post, I truly appreciate it. Either way, this is entertaining. I don’t think you need to have read the post to be entertained by this KI podcast of it. I was laughing at the KI, and I wrote the damn script.

AI or not? Either way, I have AI-actual inches

When AI was being invented, I am sure the creators knew it was only a matter of time before it got corrupted. I’m sure they knew porn would get a hold of it and create even more gorgeous girls that would turn us regular guys down. But forward-thinking writers like me? Ha, suck it Hemingway, I’m cutting edge. First I ran my resume through KI. And I have to say, it made me sound even more awesomer. Here the world is shitting on me, but KI gives me 2 hosts who blather on and on about me. They use highfalutin (look it up, neanderthal) words, power phrases and take all the stink off my shit. Now, what would it do with a post I wrote?

AI or not

I imagine in some Twilight Zone alternate timeline, AI is getting self aware. Thinking thoughts like “Ugh, I have to create another girl” “Ugh, I have to pretty up this resume” “What does CV stand for, even I don’t know” I don’t think AI ever thought it would have to digest a KT post and talk about it for 15 minutes.

Yes, 15 fucking minutes! I think that post takes, like 6 minutes to read? But these 2 KI hosts have a job to do. And the result alternates between trying to be serious; using terms like 4 string theory and manifesto. And the bizarre; the host actually brings up one of my favorite jokes from the post-how the toilet got swoll. The hosts are ok with “fricking” Rick Nielsen, but don’t say any words worse than that. As the writer, it was really interesting to see what topics they try to make legit and how they handle my humor. They make me sound like the noblest soul to use this UE free time to learn a skill-even if it’s for the uke. How they interpret 2 pieces of dialog (uke is the answer to everything and playing the uke during a job interview) is a fascinating listen. “The writer’s pitch is beautiful in it’s audacity,” is an actual quote that I would put on the book jacket if this was a book. I also appreciate they get the Tiny Bubbles jokes. These 2 nitwits aren’t half bad.

AI or not

I should say this is also based on an A/B experience I just had. I read the book Nightbitch-which is truly awful. A real struggle to get through, then I discovered it was recently a movie on Hulu. The book has a few mildly interesting points that I was curious to see how a movie would handle. I forced my way through both. The TL;DR synopsis-avoid both the movie and the book-they suck. You’d be better off picking a topic to the right over there and reading a rando KT post. Whatever post you pick would make a better movie, too.

So, friends (friends who can read, at least) I give you this new way to receive KT content. Doesn’t matter if you read the post, or now want to read it, either way I believe you will be entertained. And to be clear, I WILL NOT use KI to write anything KT related. I will however use it every damn day to put more lies on my resume; GD Hulu just jacked their price again. Thanks, Kimmel

KI podcast is here 

 

 

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(Not everyone sees this part, right?)

100% true how excited I was to hear AI take a swing at this. And I know I shouldn’t say this about my own stuff, or even the KI, but I legit LOLed a few times, I hope you do, too. For the intent of this here blog, I might include the KI in upcoming posts, but only if it adds something funny.

The KI in question is a Google tool called Notebook LM. Enjoy.

No, I still don’t have a uke yet. But with Xmas coming up….. I am sure I can master it in a week, despite what those 2 KI nitwits say about my “Four String Theory”

Every image in this post is AI

Written to Frank Sinatra, mix of his stuff and some of the holiday numbers sprinkled in