OK, this is the Montreal post (duh). This is the post I’ve been wanting to write for months now. As I’ve explained in a previous post, I have a hard time writing these industry posts. It’s hard for me to summon up the proper bile and bitterness to properly portray the side of the biz I saw. I’ve just finished the James Blunt post, and that thing practically fell out of my head quicker than my hair these days. I mentioned him in there, and knew I would have to get around to this at some point. I feel I am in the proper spot to start telling you this story.
Montreal is the story of one of the highest ups of the Ivory Castle. Montreal’s been there for years, but fuck if I can tell you their title. For the sake of covering my ass, Montreal is not their name. (But, hey, didn’t they used to have a baseball team?) In my mind, from my own personal experiences, he is one of the biggest things of what’s wrong with the business.
I can’t tell you the first time I met Montreal. (Then again, these days, I can’t tell you what day today is.) Montreal was installed into his position-I-can’t-remember when a new regime came in. Monty had a background in the music biz, but was out for a few years. If I recall correctly, Montreal was chummy with the new owner. Nepotism, gotta love it. And, by the way, how come you schmoes haven’t gotten me a job yet?
My bullshit meter immediately went off. This person could have been the biggest saint in the world. But my BS meter was pegged, and there’s no way to change that. Over the years, I saw numerous examples of behavior that would go to that point.
He put himself off as a music guy. I have no doubt he is. Because at just about every party and convention, there was Montreal, guitar in hand, or singing into the microphone. I can appreciate the ability to play an instrument; I don’t have that talent. But here’s the mahoff running the show, and this fucker’s gotta get up at every event and do something?
I vividly recall a Xmas dinner in Tribeca, NY. It was after dinner, drinks were flowing, and everyone was having a good time. Someone had the bright idea to bring a karaoke machine. I’ll be upfront. I love music, but in no way feel I have the talent to sing just because I’ve worked in and around it most of my life. I was against the idea. Nothing worse than seeing a colleague who can’t sing murder some Manilow or something. There was a sales rep who was having a good time, certainly not drunk. I never would have pegged him to do karaoke. And there he is, singing a Sinatra song. So what does Montreal do? Gets up right after the sales rep and sings the exact fucking song again. I was horrified. I felt so bad for the sales rep. And there’s Montreal, putting his hand behind his head, and moving the mic to and from his mouth for effect. I was so embarrassed for the sales rep, me and everyone else. I mean, I’m a Sinatra fan, so I know he roughly has 16,000 songs in his catalog, and Montreal’s gotta do the exact one? What a fuck you. Have some class, and at least do another Sinatra song. Hell, even a Nancy Sinatra song. I couldn’t believe Monty did that.
Conventions were another eye opener. I remember Atlanta. Before going down, we received many explicit emails to keep our expenses in check. Don’t spend a dime more than you have to. At the butt-crack of morning, we fly coach to Atlanta. Once there, a bunch of us wait in a barely air conditioned van, so the van can fill up and bring the maximum number of WEA-ites to the hotel in one shot. Finally, the tart cart is full, and we motor to the hotel. As we all get off the van “like lemmings in shiny metal boxes”, what pulls up but a single car. And who gets out of the chauffer driven car? Right, Montreal. I thought that was such a bad visual. Monty hops right out as the driver takes his luggage out for him. We have to wait for “Akubindi” to sort through our luggage, while Montreal saunters right in. I am not denying that Montreal “needs” a limo, because I am sure he has important business use for it, but to me, it was just such a bad visual.
Later on that trip, we were on the patio waiting to go do dinner. There were a bunch of us just hanging out, when Montreal comes up and joins the group. Exchange a few pleasantries, ha-ha’s etc. And I will never forget this part; my BS meter immediately shot up again. He has this big smile on his face, extends his hand to me and says, “And how are you doing, dude?”
It just reeked of insincerity. Certainly, this guy has hundreds of employees in the field, he’s not gonna know every one. I don’t expect him to remember me, but don’t put on a show, either. But it was just so false to me. Like he was trying far too hard. “Hmm, this guy has long hair, he’s a dude.” Again, I was just so turned off.
At every convention, he would be all huggy with the label VIPs. Big hugs and man handshakes, etc. Like they were lifelong friends, leading this merry band of nitwits through the music business. Every label made it a point to say how great it was to work with Montreal. Maybe it’s just me being jaded, but it just got to be enough after 7 damn labels say the same thing. “Wow, it’s really great working with Montreal, and it’s such a pleasure, and he makes our lives so much easier, and he pees Deer Park.” It just got to be excessive in my point of view; like there was a contest to see which label could kiss his ass. Labels would have their VIPs give an overview and preview the rest of the releases. More than one of them made a crack about how they keep getting unsolicited music from Montreal, and they weren’t going to sign him. Maybe this sort of thing happens at every plumbing parts convention and pillow maker convention and every military surplus supply convention.
Sometimes if we were lucky, Montreal would have their guitar, and we could hear him sing! Ugh, we’re kinda getting into the fan boy realm here, now. Look, Montreal, you aren’t a musician (or maybe just a frustrated musician), but you do run a pretty cool label group. Don’t try to hog the spotlight, no one wants to hear their boss sing, especially at a music label convention. One time, he did something at a convention that just made me absolutely sick. It’s just so dark, I’m not even gonna write about it here. For all I know, I might be the only one who thought it. I personally felt he crossed a line that no one needed to know about (no, our world doesn’t revolve around the life of Montreal).
At the last convention, we all heard about how Montreal received some sort of recycling award. Hey, that’s great and all, but do ya know what? I’m willing to bet there were some peons in the crowd that received similar awards for similar noble causes where they live, so why don’t we spotlight them as well? No, of course not, it’s all about Montreal saving the world through music and trees via recycling. So after hearing this, we were informed that all of us in the field would soon be receiving baskets with which to recycle paper. All from the noggin of Montreal. Despite the fact I am sure all of us have some sort of recycling program where we live. Despite getting endless amounts of things to print out. Despite getting this book from WB every week called Details that was just a huge waste of paper? Despite the fact it will consume resources to send said baskets? Christ, man, let’s just recycle the music for crying out loud. For the record, this meeting was last October. As of May, no one ever got and basket. We just got terminated.
At night, we would have various artists perform for us. Now you would think with the entire company being there, we would get some big, cool names to come in. But, no, we got stuck with every loser, go-nowhere baby band that just probably lived nearby (OK, for the record, over the years, we did have Brian McKnight, Art Garfunkel, Me shell Ndegecello, Larry the Cable Guy & Bill Engvall) He would often introduce the band. When the band was finished, he would take pictures with them like they went to high school together. After the conventions, we’d see all the pics taken. It was very comical to see Montreal, with say the nameless rap duo that seemed to be there every year. Saying he looked out of place trying to bling or throw signs would be an understatement. It was cringeworthy.
On the way back from the most recent trip, some of us got on the same plane as Montreal. Of course he was first class, while we shuffled back to coach. Again, not denying the guy has to fly a lot, so maybe first class makes sense for him. Montreal is also the guy, that according to trusted WB sources back in the day, shot down someone to fly first class because he was tall and had a back problem. This was while Montreal was on the golf course. I can’t prove it, but I absolutely believe my source. So we arrive back, and meet him at the luggage carousel. We’re chatting as we await our bags. Suddenly, he has a guy next to him take his bags and he leaves. To another limo. It’s just a bit hard to be told to not spend money at these conventions, only to have someone shuffle off in a limo when jobs are in the balance.
He liked to champion some artists. But when he did, the entire company was expected to take it up as well. Maybe I shouldn’t have a problem with that. Maybe that’s a perk of the Ivory Castle. But don’t tell me to push this artist to the moon just because “Montreal likes him.” He was very calculated in his picks, and liked to rewrite history to show how ‘in touch’ he was. I remember one email when he was going to tell us about another artist that would change the world. He prefaced it by pointing out other artists he previously ‘championed’. The problem was, none of us was aware of some of these artists he championed. Apparently, he got behind Big & Rich, when none of us were aware. And there was some other artist that already broke overseas that he got behind. (Damien Rice?) So that doesn’t count. And he suspiciously forgot about the beloved Lizzie West. Good lord, we got her rammed down her throat. She was a fave of his and was managed by Kenny Wayne Shepherd’s father. If I recall correctly, her album had one half decent song that was used on some sort of TBS campaign. We tried, but she just didn’t connect. But he never brought that one up.
Unsubstantiated rumor was that his faves were often dictated by the owner. In other words, if the owner liked a disc, all of a sudden, Montreal liked the disc.
I’m not doubting he’s a music person. But they don’t need to play with every damn musician that stops by the office or out at a show? From time to time, we would hear stories, or see the pics in a company wide email every Friday, of him playing with so and so. There’s a pic of artist X doing what they do, and there’s Montreal right next to them, looking like a yutz. Over the years, I’ve had more than one artist ask if it was some sort of rule that Montreal had to play with everybody. For word like that to get out to the artists is tacky IMO.
I can’t deny that the company did get better to work for as time went on. I will credit Monty for seeming to be a shrewd music business person. Maybe he wasn’t responsible for it. And I can’t tell you why I feel this way. Over the years, despite my personal dislike, I somehow learned to accept the business side. He had a way about him with accounts. Montreal would be at NARM (a big record store meeting), and I would talk to my accounts, and they had rave reviews. Montreal made a good impression at one of my accounts, that the owner was ready to call Monty about something that was totally out of his control (venue parking-don’t ask). That does say something to Monty making a connection with people. Maybe Monty is a truly sincere person, and I just don’t see it.
But what do I know? I’m just a lifer music schmuck with no job, while he runs WEA. Maybe I am wrong here. Maybe I was off all along. But my observations of his behaviors tells me I’m right; that him and execs of his ilk are really a part of the problem, not the answer. All I know is what we talked about in your stores, and how they conflicted with what other labels were doing. And I’m willing to bet every label has their Montreal. Labels are the only line of work where you can fail forward. If you ever studied the business section of Billboard, you would just see that the names shuffled from label to label. As the biz shrunk, so did the rank and file, but not the Montreals. Sadly, I am sure every company has their Montreals. I just hope when I get The Job, there will be no Montreal.
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