Kevolution Theory: Eagles Win; The Best NFC Conference Game Jokes

Before I get to all the jokes, just a serious thought; how is shit like this NOT the biggest story in sports? Talk about class acts. And this has been going on since the Bills Mafia flooded Andy Dalton's charity. All these fans paying it forward to enemy players should be the lead story in every sports report. Despite any asshole behavior from any football fans today, please read this and find some reassurance there are actually decent people out there.

Viking Fans Donate 200K to Saints Punter Morstead's Foundation

"I triple dog dare you."

They are literally putting Crisco on light poles in Philadelphia to keep Eagles fans from climbing them. The multitude of the city’s fat strippers heard to say, “Yo, we got this.”

The city’s 17 Sixers fans are asking, “What is a conference championship?”

For those of you that don’t know, Philadelphia actually has a pro basketball team named the 76ers.

Yes, I know this is news to me, too. I always thought the Sixers were the team that always lost to the Globe Trotters.

Vikings fans got to Philly early, and did the SKOL chant on the art museum steps. They were actually shocked to find out Philadelphia had a museum.

I've heard both teams' fight songs, and they are equally as horrible.

First result for "hot Eagles girl"

And the GIS for "hot Vikings girl"

Live look in at me now

Aaaand I'm done....

Saints fans still salty about last week's loss, claim game was predetermined. No wonder WreslteMania is there in April.

Anyone think the NFL made Philly the night game so it will look more picturesque as it burns?

At approx 3 o'clock, there has already been a fight in the Philly parking lot. Philly fans getting a jump on being classy. I did not see any Viking fans in the video.

And now they're throwing beers at Vikes fans as they walk into the game. Not surprisingly, the Vikes fans aren't struck as Philly fans wrists are far too limp to throw a beer.

If someone could make a "anyone but the Eagles" profile frame for Facebook, it would be fire. FI-UR.

The definition of throwing gas on a fire is giving Philly fans all day to drink.

Mike Zimmer is wearing glasses to protect his eyes from batteries.

"I'm wise to you, Philadelphia."

"It will get better, bro."
"I know, bro."

Philly fans are wearing dog masks at the game. That's about the only way they can make themselves attractive.

Anyone ever seen Case Keenum and Daniel Bryan in the same room?

Everyone is making a big deal about Keenum and Foles in the Conference final. But what are the odds two former Dallas QBs would be calling the games?

That girl that eats the Skittles pox is the skankiest thing I've seen. And I've seen a lot.

By the way, the Nets beat the Pacers by a point today. If you care about that sort of thing.

Keenum throws for a TD; Iggles fans immediately threaten his family.

This is Nick Foles with his wife Tori

This is Case Keenum with his wife Kim

Are there any movies where entire cities don't get destroyed? Looking at you Rampage. And Pacific Rim. And Avengers. And any other super hero movie.

At 6:42 of the first, I have more yards going to the fridge than the Iggles have. BTW, the Iggles have zero yards at this point.

Case Keenum throws his 2nd TD. To the Eagles. Motherf.....

Can't AT&T bring Lily back to compete with the annoying Verizon guy?

"You hear me now?"

Speaking of girls in commercials, anyone else kinda finding her appealing?

"Wanna check my pants?"

Geez, when will this Eagle on Eagle violence ever end?

Eagles score TD, go up 14-7. You can literally feel football fans rolling their eyes saying, "Not this. Not them."

Wait, the Simpsons isn't gonna be on tonight?

Is it just me, or does Case Keenum's neck disappear when he puts his helmet on?

Keenum gets hit, fumbles, turns it over. Budweiser sales surge in the stadium.

Eagles fans celebratory posts on FB starting to contain more more more misspelled words. Vikes fans too busy chewing their fingernails to type anything.

Anyone else missing Tony Siragusa these days? Yea, I didn't think so.

Foles avoids defenders, uncorks TD throw to Jeffery. Um, what's the plan for this game again?

Eagles fans seen googling 'Minnesota' so they know how to spell it correctly when looking for flights and rooms.

It's a good thing Prince isn't around to see this mess.

Kristina Pink totally sounds like a stripper name.

Eagles up by 17 at half. Motherf....

Seeing Larry Fitzgerald in all these commercials 'between games' and it's no wonder the Cardinals sucked this year.

Brett Favre just put his old Vikes jersey on and is standing by in case the phone rings. His family is worried about him.

Eagles run trick play on third down and score. Philly fans losing what little shit they had. Brady watching the game and saying, "Pikers. Been there."

Mike Vick can go fuck himself, and no, I will not let it go.

If the Eagles do win this game, this will one of those Super Bowls where the rest of the country wants neither team to win.

Vikes can't convert a 4th and goal. If you know any Minnesota fans, you might wanna check in on them now.

I'm shocked there haven't been drunken Eagles fans running on the field. The Vikes probably couldn't stop them, either.

If it's possible to save some points for the next game, ya might wanna do that Birds.

Eagles up 24 at the beginning of the 4th. Philly cops seen putting on riot gear. Philly cop horses also putting on riot gear.

Eagles score again. There's a fight on the PAT. It does not stop the badass Philly cheerleaders from running out onto the field. At this point, the cheerleaders could probably whup the Vikings.

Speaking of Eagles cheerleaders