"This Might Be the Quarantine Talking But..."

So, this whole pandemic thing has us isolated. Is there anything worse than being alone with your thoughts? Prolly not. Here's a bunch of random thoughts that have been taking up space in my head.




I can now confidently rock white tube socks.

No one has said they miss baseball. NO ONE.

I'll allow this.

(The most work I've done for this post is researching for the above picture)

All these knudnicks running around that want everything open yesterday are subliminally screaming "My home life sucks." We know, but we ain't responsible for your poor choices, bro. (And they're all guys)

All the people whining they won't wear masks...are exactly the people who need to be wearing masks.

I've lost track of all days, and I can't blame my burgeoning alcoholism.

Still on my same stick of deodorant from early March.

Ditto travel size bottle of shampoo I stole form a Hotel 6.

In unrelated news, dreads take a lot longer to grow than I originally was lead to believe.

A lil' sumthin' for the ladies

April was last month, apparently

I still can't find a girl who can pull off the "girl looks hot in face mask" look.

Flobies are now more than Jordans on eBay

My rum consumption has gone up. Also, I don't have the 'rona. Coincidence?

OK, I really am wondering what would Jimmy Buffett do

18,000 new cases of Corona reported this day

Isn't it time for a reboot of 2 Girls 1 Cup?

I really like the new drive in bar at the bottom of the parking lot of the shopping center where I order my rum

There's this old dude at my home gym that can no longer pull off all the UnderArmour he wears. Don't get me started on his tube socks.

Screw it; for the rest of the summer, the Kevolution Theory archives is free for everyone.
"But, Kev, your blog has always been fr....."
I SAID FREE FOR EVERYONE

I can't tell you the last time I wore pants that had a button. Or belt. or a zipper. Or just pants...

The thing about losing track of hours and days is it's always cool to start drinking. Is that an 8AM sun or a 2PM sun. Who's to say? Bottoms up!

With all this talk of contactless delivery, I can't be the only one wondering WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY DOING TO OUR FOOD BEFORE ALL THIS?

Also, contactless is a new word because my SpellCheck flags it every time

You can have your hockey back, but Pierre McGuire does every game. Hhmmmmm...

So COVID porn is a real thing. I've watched some of it. A few twice!

I find on the days I don't use deodorant, the social distance thing isn't that big a thing. For everyone else.

Me, after I showered, used deodorant and washed my hair two days in a row.

I have contactless glasses.

Someone, somewhere, is designing a "sexy Coronavirus" costume.

How da fuck are Christmas movies supposed to make anyone feel better?

Your new avatar LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOU! KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!

I like Corona, but I wished they gave this a scarier name, like Coors Light or Lowerbrau. "Hey, did you hear about Steve? He caught the 'Brau."

I think we're all on the bus that we wear whatever when we're in our backyards. For example, I had on a coconut bra and a grass skirt today, and nobody batted an eye.

(Would the above joke be funnier if I said I was wearing white tube socks, too?)

People are using this time to learn an instrument, paint, draw, do magic. And all I have is this shitty post. Where's your art?

What if we decide we don't like the New Normal, say "fuck it" and just hang out in the house all day?

You're still staring at your phone too much.