I don't like people. Doesn't matter if they are related to me or not. So, sometimes, being forced into actual conversation, I have to say some outlandish things just to survive. Things like:
We should all get together more often.
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| Good to know. |
Oh, her? Yea, I dumped her ass. Last I heard, she got
married to some guy with an accent named Harry and he knocked her up.
I don’t know what time all the football games start today.
I watched that Monday night game. Every second of it.
Regardless, I think we can all be glad the Eagles finally
won a Super Bowl. Philly is a great sports town and deserved it.
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| This was actually from their last Thanksgiving game. |
I got that promotion at work, I got several, actually.
My blog is wildly successful.
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| Is....is...that what I think it is on their heads? |
I don’t know who clogged your toilet.
.
You losing weight?
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| Google "sexy pilgrim" and this is what you get. |
Your thoughts on politics are fascinating. You need to put
more of them on Facebook.
Benching 350 these days.
I ran a 5K this morning.
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| Please consider this an homage, Dave. |
These yams are delish.
That wasn’t me; pretty sure it was the dog. She musta got
into some bad scraps or something.
You mean you haven’t seen Hamilton? I’ve seen it. Twice. Got a Groupon.
No, I’m pretty sure I wore something different last year. I
own more than one good shirt and one casual pair of pants, I’ll have you know.
Wait, you said you don’t have rum?! And there are screaming
kids here? I mean, don’t worry about it, it’s all good. I’ll be fine.
I won’t be the drunk uncle this year.
No, that's not a naked girl on my phone. This isn't even my phone. I think it's Dad's. Yo Dad, what up with this, dog?
