Originally written November 2006
People who showed up to this historic event were welcomed by a 6 foot mummy. Who just happened to be wrapped in lights, garland, and wearing decorative Xmas balls. Past that was a Sant-A-Lantern. The Sant-A-Lantern was lovingly created by my wife, who has far more patience than me when it comes to intricate pumpkin carving. Inside was the HallowPumpkin for the year. It was truly a garish sight, but it did command folks to come sit around in its glow. Kinda like the Yule Log at Xmas. And since this was the first introduction to Hallowmas, we also constructed a display board that went over the origin of the holiday, as well as some customs and activities to partake in.
One of those was beer pong. OK, so I forgot to find green Solo cups, so we made do with the traditional red, along with an orange ball. Pong turned out to be a big hit-as it always is-, and moves should be made to incorporate this into every holiday. Hell, if Target can sell beer pong sets, then it has truly gone mainstream.
We also had Peanut Halloween figures out. In fact there was more Halloween stuff than Xmas stuff, which is fine by me. There was a Happy Halloween banner on the table. Mental note for next time; corrupt that bad boy to somehow say Happy Hallowmas. Temporary tattoos were a hit. But sadly, no one got pass-out drunk, so we couldn't out any on a face or eyelids.
But what would a party be without a few snafus? The Hallowmas Ale was not ready in time, so we had to forgo that. The big disappointment was the Santa hats I got custom made. I found a place online that could custom make any Santa hat you'd want. Sure it was a bit expensive, but this would really make the party. So I got 2 hats made with a black brim, orange cone/hat part & green pom pom on top. Get it, so it would look like a pumpkin? I could even get words on the brim. So I got ‘em to say Happy Hallowmas. The only trick was to get them before my wife saw the package, which was a dead giveaway with the company name in the return address. Fate shone down upon me as I was able to get the mail the day they came in. Even though no one was home, I took the package upstairs and shut the door. Don't ask me why. I opened the envelope, and there they were in all their Hallowmas glory. Yes, this was the homerun. I quickly tucked them back in the envelop and hit it, suddenly feeling as if the Hallowmas party couldn't come quick enough. As I hid them in my closet, a sudden thought came to my otherwise empty mind. "Shit, did they spell Hallowmas right?" You can't wear the hat for a holiday you created if the damn name is spelled wrong. I slowly took them out, and what to my wandering eyes should appear but an O where there should be an A. D'OH!
I know I didn't fuck this up, so I pulled out the accompanying receipt, and sure enough on the receipt was Hallowmas spelled right. And there on the brim of these two hats is fucking HOllowmas. Curses, foiled again. With the party a few days away, it was clear I wouldn't get the right hats in time. What a killjoy. Sure, most folks wouldn't even realize, but I would, and that would bother me. I contacted the company, and they were willing to replace them, but couldn't do it in time. So instead, we wore them as is. The company said to send them back, and they will send me the proper ones. I sent them back a week ago, and I haven't gotten the correct ones back. But suffice it to say that if they screw me, the Missile will be all over them. For now they have the benefit of the doubt.
Everyone had a good time, and it was a great "reason" to just have a party and be goofy. It's also a great excuse to keep the Halloween decorations up just a bit longer, as well as to put up the Xmas decorations early if you so desire. Since a lot of people seemed to have fun, it looks like this will be a yearly thing. Feel free to throw your own Hallowmas party. Just give me a credit, because it's my name & idea, and last month's Missile is proof of that. And you should probably invite me, so I can deem it an "official" Hallowmas party. The only things we were missing were bikini girls, a fake snow machine and presen...er..offerings, to me for creating such a wonderful holiday. It's always about me getting free stuff.
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