New Words

Originally written 2/1/8

It’s been a while since we had some new, Kevolution Theory-approved words. So, since I’ve been slacking, here’s a twofer.

Funonxious [fun-nok-shuhs] adj annoying, offensive behavior in a setting of more than 2 people, whereby one party (the funoxious one) exhibits behavior they think is funny or witty, much to the detriment to others nearby. Funoxious behavior is mostly fueled by alcohol, thought not always. While displaying funoxious behavior, others are annoyed, appalled and not finding said behavior enjoyable. The funoxious one thinks he is the life of the party, even after the party has ended. A perfect example would be driving home from a party. The funoxious one would be the passenger, while the driver would be the sober, responsible one. In this instance, funoxious behavior would be singing, yelling, cracking (the same) rude jokes over and over, yelling out the window, etc. Lore has it that there is also a funoxious pill that can make some instantly funoxious, even without the aid of alcohol.

Sickney [sik-nee} adj State of being fed up with constant reports of the problems and exploits of a singer or actor. Sickney came about while I was on the treadmill at the gym, and the only thing on TV was constant coverage of Britney Spears being loaded into an ambulance. If it was a 3 minute story, you saw the same shot of Brit getting loaded into the ambulance like 12 Goddamn times. While I was pursuing my degree in radio/TV/film (yes, a waste, I know), we learned of a theory. Like a lot of my college days, recall is foggy, but it basically went this way; constantly showing an image in the media, over and over, will create a bigger impression on the public. So even though Brit only got into the ambulance once (that week), seeing it over and over almost creates a bigger impression on weaker minded viewer. Sickney can also be applied to the recent death of Heath Ledger. Aren’t there far more important stories going on in the world than a celebrity death? Or a pop tarts foibles?

So go forth and use these new words. I hope you are the funoxious one this week, and not grow sickney.